


Some Scars Can Heal

by sunnysunshines



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Abuse, Drama, Drugs, F/M, Harry Styles - Freeform, Love, Romance, School, Smut, Violence, fan fiction, one direction - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-11-19
Updated: 2017-04-02
Packaged: 2018-08-31 23:33:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 22
Words: 40,586
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8598151
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sunnysunshines/pseuds/sunnysunshines
Summary: (From Wattpad originally)Meadowbrook Park brings disgust to the wealthy residents of Scarsdale, New York. The two words even brought fear to a young Adelaine Fevrole, whose uncle calls it home. After Lainey's parents died, she was forced to call it home as well. For most of her life, she's suffered under the care of her uncle - a poor, abusive drug addict. After she turns seventeen, Lainey starts her senior year at Scarsdale High, her last school now unaffordable thanks to her uncle's drug habits.Living in fear and isolation has made Lainey anxious, fidgety and introverted. She's unable to remember a time when she felt truly happy and safe. She can barely remember what her parents looked like or how their voices sounded - her lack of any physical memories forcing the images of perverted men crawling  through her window and young drug dealers chasing her down the street to the front of her mind and memory.Lainey is damaged. Damaged to a point which she thinks cannot be reversed. But through the people she meets at Scarsdale High, she discovers that she may have thought too quickly. At Scarsdale High some scars can heal, and as hers do, she leaves Lainey behind and becomes his Addie Baby.





	1. Preface – Adelaine

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is Some Scars Can Heal from Wattpad! I'm the original author, McKenzie. My username on Wattpad is also sunnysunshines. I'm new to AO3 so let's see how long it takes for me to fuck something up...

There was one neighbourhood in Scarsdale that I was never allowed to go near: Meadowbrook Park. The name made it out to be harmless, but it screamed danger. Poor, broken homes were inhabited by poor, broken and threatening people. My parents spent a lot of time there taking care of my uncle. By the time I was five, I had only met him twice - once when he showed up at our house in the middle of the day asking for money, and another time when my parents had no other choice but to take me with them to pick him up from the hospital. He had overdosed on the cocaine he used my father's money to buy.

He was a scary man - John Fevrole was a scary man with scary habits living in a scary neighbourhood. I never imagined myself becoming his responsibility. 

On our way home from my year-end dance recital, my parents and I were hit by a drunk driver. I survived - they didn't. Because my uncle was named my godfather - before he lost all his money and became a junkie - he was my legal guardian under the circumstances. At six years old, I was relocated from my parents' mansion to my uncle's shack; instead of being raised on two lawyers' incomes, I was being raised on that of a dishwasher's; instead of spending time together talking and laughing, I'd spend my time watching him get high and cleaning up after him; instead of getting hugs and kisses, I'd get kicks and punches. By the time I was eight, any memories of love and affection had literally been knocked out of me.

I became closed-off and secretive. I barely had any friends at school or at the two jobs I was eventually forced to work - 'forced' because we had no money and six dollars an hour wasn't efficient at all. Especially because my uncle only worked fifteen hours a week and spent all his money on drugs. My life was horrible, embarrassing and pitiful - which was why I isolated myself.

I went to St. Bernadette's until I was seventeen - by then we had no more money to send me there and I had no choice but to relocate to Scarsdale High School. I had never gone to public school; I had never gone to school with teenage boys. I didn't know what to expect, but I had a feeling there would be a lot of changes in my life. It was one person that did nothing but make eye contact with me that made me feel that way: Harry.


	2. Preface – Harry

I lived a boring life. Rich people were idolized, but I knew firsthand that they had no right to be in that position. My entire life, I was surrounded by snarky, arrogant and obnoxious men and women - my father included. It was this attitude that drove my mother to divorce him, but she clearly didn't love or care about me enough to take me with her when she ran off. So I was stuck trying to avoid my father and anyone similar to him - so basically everyone I knew. I lived a boring life.

When high school started, it got a lot better. I met kids like me who had rich parents and hated it, nor did they really take advantage of it. We got jobs and made our own money like the other kids. Never once did I depend on my dad's money - until I was introduced to cocaine.

I was sixteen when, at a party, I tried cocaine. I immediately became addicted and spent a few grand over the year I used. My dad knew I was spending money but I would feed him būllshit excuses that he'd believe. Money really wasn't a problem, mainly because we didn't have a money problem. Thirteen months in, I overdosed in front of my girlfriend at the time, miraculously recovered and was sent to rehab for two months. My dad hated me more than he already had, but it didn't bother me much. 

I returned to school for my senior year at the same time as everyone else, since rehab was during the summer, and everything went back to normal. As normal as it could be for a past junkie. I had urges but I fought them. Until I saw her. She was the one urge I refused to fight. She was my cocaine: Adelaine.


	3. Adelaine

_Don't look up,_ I thought,  _don't look up, don't look up, don't look up._

As I approached the new high school I'd be attending, I forced myself to keep my head down; if I looked up and saw the size of the building and the people going inside, I'd run away. And I'd walked too far to do that. So I clutched my binders to my chest and stared at the ground as I quickly made my way to the front door.

When I made it inside, I knew I had to look up. I was told upon registering there that a huge board with all the students' names and homerooms was put up, and that was clearly something I needed to find. Luckily enough, it was on the wall right in front of me. Unfortunately, dozens of people were crowded around, pushing and shoving. Subconsciously, I began to back away from the chaos with a racing heart.

I almost screamed when I felt someone run into my right shoulder, knocking my binders to the floor. I focused on hurriedly picking them back up without even worrying about who had bumped into me. As I was stuffing loose papers back into their confines, I felt someone crouch down next to me.

"Oh God, I'm so sorry. I was texting my friends and clearly not paying attention. I'm really sorry."

I subtly peeked over at the culprit on my right and saw a frantic redhead aiding me in cleaning up the mess of papers. When all the paper had been put away, she let out a breath and looked over at me. I widened my eyes before scrambling to grab my books and stand up. She was right beside me again in seconds.

"Are you ok?" She asked.

I nodded nervously, looking between her and the still crowded board.

"Not big on crowds?" She raised an eyebrow.

"Not really," I mumbled.

"Well, I'll go for you," she smiled. "What's your last name?"

"Uh, Fevrole. F-E-V-R-O-L-E."

"Got it, be right back."

Bravely, she made her way into the large group of people and I stood there bewildered by how easy she made it look. I wasn't one for physical contact. Touch scared me - mainly because I was accustomed to one specific kind and it was anything but gentle. So if anyone touched me or bumped into me - like the unnamed redhead had - I'd fear for my safety. Living with an abusive guardian would do that to you.

"Adelaine!" My eyes widened at the sound of my name coming from an unseen source. My eyes darted from person to person in the crowd but I didn't see anyone looking back at me. "Adelaine!" 

Suddenly, the redhead jumped out in front of me and I relaxed a bit. Who else would've been calling me? I  _did_  give her my name.

"It's Lainey, actually," I corrected.

"Lainey," she nodded. "I'm Beatrice and we have homeroom together. Comm tech in one-ten"

Beatrice seemed to be a bit too bubbly for me - as far as I knew - but I was relieved there'd be one person I knew in one of my classes.

"Bee!"

Both Beatrice and I looked down the hallway where the loud call had come from. There were three boys standing together. One was facing us - I assumed he was the one that called - another was on the phone facing away from us, and the last one was trying to get him to look over where we were. At Beatrice.

"Hey!" Beatrice waved. "Those are my friends, the ones I was texting when I ran into you."

At that moment, the boy on the phone turned around and put his phone away when he saw Beatrice. He must've been trying to call her. But then his eyes moved to mine, and I froze. I couldn't look away from him. I felt my cheeks heat up the longer we looked at each other, and even more when he gave me a small wave. 

"That's Harry," Beatrice said, bringing me back to earth.

I quickly looked over at her with wide eyes. "Who?" I played dumb.

She rolled her eyes. "The one you were having a staring contest with. He's Harry."

"He's your friend?" I asked quietly.

"One of the best. I haven't seen him in a few months, though," she frowned.

I decided not to ask why. "Well go see your friends. I can make my way around here."

"Of course not!" She fully turned to me with a smile. "Those guys can wait, I'll take you to class." She turned and waved to her three friends before walking down the hall in the opposite direction. As I walked beside her, I snuck a glance over my shoulder to where they were and saw that Harry was standing in the same spot still looking at me. After a few seconds, one of his friends grabbed his shoulder and turned him around to walk away.

~ ~ ~ ~

I had first and second period with Beatrice - who I learned was very popular and rich but very, very humble. She wasn't snotty and arrogant like a lot of extremely fortunate people were, and apparently her friends weren't either. I learned quite a bit about the three boys - Harry especially. Beatrice said she 'shipped' us, or whatever it was, so she shared a lot of details about him with me. I knew his favourite colour, his first dog's name, his birthday, his parents' names and I knew all about the time he dated Rosie Parker for a whole day before she hugged Aaron Hertz and broke his heart.

"He was absolutely devastated!" Beatrice laughed. "Of course, I didn't know him that well back then, but he always talks about how traumatic it was."

I smiled. "Well, heartbreak at five years old must be hard."

"He told his mom that he was too sad to ever have chocolate milk again."

I raised and eyebrow. "How long did that last?"

"An hour, tops," she laughed. "He could never give that up; he lived on that shīt."

I could barely even remember what chocolate milk tasted like - I was around five or six the last time I had it. I did remember having it for every meal because it was my favourite, though.

"Hey," Beatrice said. "We've barely talked about you. I want to hear stories now. It's your turn."

My heartbeat picked up and I could feel my cheeks flushing. I never shared with people. "There's really not a lot to talk about," I shrugged.

"Well tell me the basics at least," she urged. "Like, where are you from?"

"Here, actually. Born and raised. I went to St. Bernadette's before I came here."

Her eyes widened, and I knew why. St. Bernadette's was the private, all-girls school that the richest of rich went to. She must've thought I was absolutely loaded.

"And you came here?" She gaped. "Geez, I tried begging my parents to let me go there but they travel a ton and wouldn't dream about spending money on that school. Why'd you leave?"

 _My uncle spent the last of my high school money on drugs._ "I wanted a change of scenery, I guess."

"And your parents let you leave?  _Jesus._  I wish I had parents like that. What do they do?"

I hated that question for two reasons: 1) that's all anyone cared about in Scarsdale - no one asked, 'How are you?' They asked, 'Where do you work?' Even the kids had been conditioned to do that. And 2) my parents were dead.

"They're lawyers," I lied easily. After doing it hundreds of times, it became less difficult to talk about them like they were still alive. It never hurt any less, though.

"That's cool. Their firm must not be in Scarsdale, right? I've never heard the name Fevrole."

That was because that wasn't their name - and it wasn't mine until I started living with my uncle. Fevrole was  _his_  name - my mother's maiden name - and he wanted me to change it when I moved in with him. My actual name was Adelaine Connellings, and Connellings was the name of my father's law firm in Scarsdale where both of my parents worked and where they met. But again, I lied to Beatrice.

"Yeah, they're in Westchester."

She nodded. "Makes sense. My aunt's a lawyer at Connellings. I don't know much about any of it, though, just that they're thinking of changing the name."

My eyes widened and my chest felt like it was imploding upon itself. My nose and eyes stung, but I needed to hold it together. Changing the name? It physically broke my heart.

"Really?" Luckily, my voice showed no signs of distress.

"Yeah, the old CEO died a while ago. His name was Connellings, and the company's kept it that way since then out of sympathy. It's been, like, eleven or twelve years I think and the newest CEO wants to change it to his name. I think they should just leave it."

I looked down at my lap. "Me too."

The bell rang loudly and I jumped, quickly standing up, throwing on my bag and grabbing my schedule.

"Woah, there," Beatrice laughed. "You're quite jumpy."

I shrugged. "Just want to make a good impression, I guess."

"What class do you have next?" She asked, following me to the front of the class and swinging her bag onto her shoulders.

"French," I said from memory. I waved to our history teacher who had literally just sat at his desk for the whole class.

"Really?"" I heard a hint of suggestiveness in her voice. That was confirmed when - in the hall - she came in front of me and wiggled her eyebrows. 

"What?" I asked.

"Your last name is French." I nodded. "So you must be in the advanced class."

"Uh, yeah?" I didn't understand what was happening at all.

She laughed. "Cool, I'm going the other way but you need to go down this hall here and up the stairwell and the first four classrooms in that hallway are all the French rooms. I'll see you later, ok?"

I nodded. "Thank you for all your help today."

She waved me off. "No problem. I'm here to help."

Finding my class wasn't hard at all thanks to Beatrice. When I got there, there were about twelve or so students already seated. I decided to sit at an empty two-person desk in the back, hoping whoever sat next to me would be there for the same reason - to go unnoticed.

After taking a seat, a woman who actually looked kind of French came in and told everyone to copy down what she had written on the board. Class hadn't even started yet, so she clearly meant business. She had written a series of biographical questions to be answered and handed in at the end of class.

The bell had already rung by the time I had started answering them. Just by the noise around me, I could tell I was the only one working - until the teacher told everyone to start.

As we all worked, I heard the door open and the teacher - Madame Baudin - tutted.

"En retard, Monsieur," ( _You're late, Sir)_ she already sounded exhausted. Maybe that kid was always late.

"Desolé, Madame,"  _(Sorry, Ma'am)_ a deep voice spoke.

My heart picked up at the sound for whatever reason. It was smooth but rough at the same time. It was comforting.

"Toujours 'Desolé, Madame.' Peut-être un jour vous allez arriver à l'heure." _(It's always 'Sorry, Ma'am." Maybe one day you'll actually get here on time.)_

The boy chuckled. "Peut-être."  _(Maybe.)_

The speaking stopped and footsteps began. They seemed to be getting closer to me. I realized why when my eyes caught sight of the empty chair beside me.

I got nervous - sure, I thought his voice was comforting but I was a nervous wreck around males. All I could think about was assault and abuse and punches and pain. As I saw his shoes by the empty seat, I prayed he'd physically be as nice as his voice.

"Fancy meeting you here," the same voice said.

I furrowed my eyebrows because the only person I knew at that school was Beatrice and she did  _not_ sound that manly. When I looked up, my heart dropped - and not just because he was a male. Staring back at me was a pair of happy, light green eyes and a killer smile. My whole face became hot and I had to put my pen down so I could hide my shaky hands. I tried to nod at what he said but I thought I looked like I was having issues, so I gave up.

"Hi," I was quiet.

"Harry, à ta place,"  _(Harry, sit down/Harry, go to your seat.)_ Madame Baudin said.

I looked back down to my book as he sat down. I didn't need to keep my head up to know he was staring at me. Just like that morning.


	4. Harry

She didn't look up once in the two minutes I'd been sitting there beside her, and I couldn't bring myself to look away. She was so concentrated on the work that Madame Baudin had written on the board and I was so blinded by her that I didn't even know what we were supposed to be doing.

She was leaning over her paper and writing with conviction, sitting up every five or six words to look over what she had written, and then leaning over once again. She looked completely distracted by the work, but I noticed the way her body responded to every sound that arose in the room. She shifted in her seat when Scott let out a string of curses; she squeezed her eyes closed when Chloe was begging her boyfriend, Mike, to stop tickling her; and she dropped her pencil and fisted her fingers when Sophie accidentally knocked her large chemistry book to the ground.

She seemed nervous, and I wanted to make her feel comfortable. I knew she was new at Scarsdale High School, since I was positive I had never seen a girl more beautiful or intriguing than her. And I knew being popular and known for the few one night stands I've had and the number of drugs I've done, I didn't come off as the most welcoming - but I could try. And she didn't even know about any of that anyway. At least she didn't seem to.

"Entendez, classe!"  _(Listen up, everyone!)_ Madame Baudin called over the noise, just as I was about to ask the girl for her name. "Je suis trop fatiguée pour faire l'attendance moi-même, alors dites 'ici' quand vous entendez votre nom."  _(I'm too tired to do the attendance myself so say 'here' when you hear your name.)_

"Come on, Miss, you know me," Kevin said, making the class laugh.

"Quel dommage,"  _(What a pity)_ Madame raised her eyebrows as she picked up the class list and the class  _ooh_ 'd. "Miranda..." she began. I kept my eyes on the girl next to me to see when she'd respond to her name being called. Not Katie... Not Erin... Not Jen... Not Sylvia... "Adelaine?"

She looked up from the desk. "Vous pouvez m'appeller Lainey,"  _(You can call me Lainey)_ she said gently and Madame nodded, moving on to the next name.

Adelaine. Lainey. No, I didn't want to call her Lainey.

"Has anyone ever called you Addie?" I asked.

She turned to me with wide green eyes. "U-Uh, no. No."

I smirked. "I'm gonna call you Addie."

"I -"

"Harry?" Madame Baudin called.

"Ici,"  _(Here)_ I almost chuckled.

She finished attendance and I actually started the work on the board. I could tell Addie was trying to focus on writing but she kept looking over at me like she wanted to say something - I could feel her shy eyes. I smirked.

"What?" I looked over at her humourously, just catching eye contact before she snapped her head back to her paper. "You know, I saw you with Bee this morning."

She furrowed her eyebrows and peeked at me through the corner of her eye. "Beatrice?" She barely whispered.

I nodded. "Yeah, we call her Bee. She wouldn't mind if you did, too."

She nodded wordlessly and continued to write. I didn't want to disturb her, but I didn't want to stop talking either.

"What school did you go to before you came here?"

She breathed in and sat up a bit more. "Saint Bernadette's."

Great, more rich people. "So you're loaded, huh?"

She stiffened and then scoffed, widening her eyes right after and trying to hide herself.

"What?" I furrowed my eyebrows. She said nothing, so I tried again. "Seriously, did I offend you?" Nothing. "Look I'm sorry but I figured since you -"

"Why does everyone care about money anyway?" She snapped. "Why is it so important? If I say I'm loaded are you automatically gonna be my friend? Does personality not mean anything anymore? I don't get it."

She went back to writing and left me staring at her with my jaw on the floor. So the quiet girl had a backbone. And as an added bonus, she felt about money the same way I did. I felt the ends of my mouth lift up slightly in a sort of adoration mixed with appreciation.

"I like the way you think, Addie."

"Lainey," she whispered.

"Addie," I whispered back.

"Alors, classe,"  _(Alright, class)_ Madame Baudin spoke before Addie could say anything. "Je veux commencer immédiatement. Vous vous êtes assis à côté de votre partenaire pour votre premier projet ce semestre."  _(I'd like to start right away. You are all seated beside your partner for your first project of the semester.)_

I looked over at Addie and smirked at the wide-eyed, surprised expression she was shooting at our teacher. She quickly tried to hide it by bringing her hand up and covering her mouth as Madame Baudin continued.

"Chaque semestre dans les classes de français, les étudiants sont demandés de faire un project au sujet d'eux-mêmes, mais le douzième année est différente. Vous allez apprendre tout que possible de la personne à côté de vous, et dans une semaine, vous allez presenter ce que vous avez appris. Bien?"  _(Every semester in french class, you guys are asked to do a project about yourselves, but twelfth grade is different. You're going to get to know the person sitting next to you as much as you can and in one week, you'll present what you've learned to the class. Alright?)_

"Oui."  _(Yes.)_ The class answered.

"Questions?"  _(Questions?_ **A/N did I really need to translate that?** _)_

"Oui," (Yes) Sylvia raised her hand. "Est-ce que c'est juste orale ou est-ce qu'on a besoin de préparer un visuel aussi?"  _(Is it just an oral presentation or do we also need to prepare a visual?)_

"C'est orale et visuel. Vous pouvez faire un PowerPoint ou une planche, c'est à vous. Plus?"  _(It's oral and visual. You can make a PowerPoint or put together a bristol board, it's up to you. Anything else?)_

We all shook our heads.

"Bien, passez vos feuilles à l'avant et préparer une autre pour la grammaire."  _(Very well, pass your papers to the front and get another one out for grammar.)_

Addie and I both passed our papers up and she was quick to pull out another blank one and write her name on it.

"So partner," I cleared my throat. "Your place or mine?"

She looked up at me. "What?"

"For the project."

"W-We can't just do that at school?"

I shrugged and smiled. "I mean... yeah. But the offer's there, if you ever want to come over."

She sighed. "Well thanks, Harry, but this project doesn't seem so hard to do here."

"Fair enough," I chuckled. I liked that girl. And I liked the way she said my name.

"Harry, laisse Lainey seule à copier ses notes,"  _(Harry, leave Lainey alone and let her copy the notes)_ Baudin said from her desk. "Si tu sais ce qui best bien pour toi, tu va faire la même chose."  _(If you know what's good for you, you'll do the same thing.)_

I held my hands up in surrender. "Désolé"  _(Sorry.)_

I pulled out another piece of paper and aimlessly copied the notes from the projector before I got bored. Turning to Addie, I brought my voice to a whisper. "So, how are we gonna do this? We each come up with questions for the other to answer tomorrow?"

She shrugged. "Sure."

"You don't talk much, do you?"

"There's not much to say."

"Well we're gonna have to change that, aren't we?"

She looked alarmed. "What do you mean?"

"I just... I like to talk," her concern threw me off. "That's all. I just want to talk to you."

Her body visibly relaxed and she let out a breath of relief. "S-Sorry, that's fine, I... I just... I don't know, I tend to freak out. Jump to conclusions and all. Sorry."

I smiled at her flushing cheeks. "Stop apologizing, it's fine. I get it."

She shyly smiled. "Sorry."

"Seriously," I laughed.

"Oh, sorry - I mean, sorry... I - shoot," she stammered and I couldn't help but smile.

"You're cute, Addie."

Her eyes widened. "W-Wha-"

"Alors, la grammaire!"  _(So, grammar!)_ Madame Baudin chose to start teaching at just the right second.

~ ~ ~ ~

"Come sit with us at lunch," I offered Addie as we packed up our French books.

"No, no, that's ok," she rushed. "I was gonna eat outside anyway."

"No, don't eat outside. It's hot as fūck and the wasps are bad. Just sit with us. Bee'll be there."

She shook her head. "Seriously, Harry, it's fi-"

"Do you not want to be my friend?" I placed my hand over my heart.

"I- no that's not it, I just-"

"Because I'll have you know that I am a fantastic friend. One of the best."

"I didn't say-"

"And for your information, I share my snacks at lunch."

"Harry-"

"And I will share my snacks with yo-"

"Okay!" She exclaimed. "I'll sit with you."

"You will?"

She nodded, but looked anywhere but me.

"Are you nervous?" I assumed.

"No," she answered immediately.

"Like I believe that," I rolled my eyes and led her out of the classroom. "Don't be nervous, Jimmy and Andy are cool. You'll like them."

"The question is, 'will they like me?'" She grumbled.

"Cynical, are we?" I raised an eyebrow.

She sighed and lightly began to scratch the top of her left hand. "N-No just... awkward. And not as social as other people."

I eyes the scratching curiously. "They won't bother you, you'll be fine."

She tried to smile, but her face was twisting in discomfort - she was still scratching her hand. Based on how jumpy she'd been in French, I decided reaching out and physically stopping her wasn't a good idea. So I relied on my words.

"Seriously, there's nothing to worry about. If it makes you feel better just stick with Bee - I'm sure you feel comfortable around her right?"

She took a deep breath and nodded, replacing her nails with the pads of her fingers to rub over where she had scratched. "Yeah, I can do that."

We stopped at my locker quickly so I could put a few binders away - my bag was getting too heavy. Then we were on our way to the cafeteria. Addie was getting more and more fidgety the closer we got to the main entrance, I assumed it was because more and more people were surrounding us.

"Hey," I said lowly, making her jump and snap her head in my direction. "You okay?"

She nodded, jaw locked and lips tight as we approached the doors. Once we passed through, the buzzing of voices we heard in the hall became a roar of laughs, yells,  _hello_ 's and  _how are you_ 's coming from energetic students, happy to see their friends again. Addie flinched every time someone was too loud or came too close, so she put her head down and moved to follow directly behind me. I decided not to say anything.

I spotted my friends at a table not too far away and I slightly picked up my pace, excited to see them. Two months in rehab didn't give you many chances to see your friends, so I was excited to be with them again - even if it was at school.

When I got there, I was afraid I'd lost Addie, but by the lack of playfully rude comments from the guys and Bee's excited face, I knew she was still with me.

"Lainey!" Bee exclaimed, jumping up to stand beside her.

"Hi, Beatrice," Addie nodded shyly.

"Adelaine," Bee fake frowned. "People have been calling me 'Bee' all day and you haven't caught on yet?"

She looked down. "Sorry."

"It's fine," Bee laughed. "But just know that if you call me Beatrice all the time I'll call you Adelaine."

Addie smiled. "'Bee' it is then."

Bee smiled big and turned to our friends as I took my seat. "Guys, this is Lainey. Lainey this is Andy and Jimmy."

"Hi," she whispered.

"Nice to meet you," Andy said and Jimmy waved.

"Come sit!" Bee grabbed her hand and pulled her to the seat next to hers. Addie widened her eyes and looked scared until Bee let go and they both sat down.

"I'm gonna go get lunch," I stood back up and grabbed my wallet from my bag.

"I'll go with you," Andy stood as well and we walked side by side to the for building. "So..." He trailed off.

"So...?" I raised an eyebrow.

"Lainey," he smirked.

"What about her?" I shrugged as we passed through the door. The smell of all the food made my mouth water and I wanted to buy it all. I opted, though, for what I knew I wanted and told myself I'd just buy all my favourites the next day - though I knew I wouldn't.

"Don't play dumb, Harry," he rolled his eyes as he grabbed a tray and handed another to me.

"I'm not."

"Just because I barely saw you for two months doesn't mean I know you any less. You like her."

"I met her today," I picked up a warm container of penne pasta.

"And you'll fūck her tomorrow," he chuckled.

I froze and felt like legitimately ripping my best friend's head off. "You know I'm not like that."

"Relax, man, I was kidding."

"Don't kid about shīt like that."

And he let it go. Like they always do after making similar comments. I lost my virginity to an eighteen-year-old in the back of her boyfriend's car when I was sixteen. And since then I've apparently slept with anything with a pulse.

With my penne and chocolate milk, I walked to the exit and through the door, pausing momentarily to make sure Andy could catch up. As we approached the table, my eyes became more and more interested in taking in every detail of the brunette beauty I'd met that day. Apparently it didn't go unnoticed.

I felt Andy's hand clap down on my shoulder. "You  _looooove_ her."


	5. Adelaine

I sat nervously as everyone around me happily conversed and ate their luxurious lunches. The smell of pasta, salad, chicken, veggie dip, salsa and sour cream and onion chips physically twisted my stomach. And that was just the food at my table. 

I watched the four people eat these precious foods like it meant nothing; like they did it all the time. Which, I realized, they probably did. They had the opportunity. I, however, hadn't had a warm bowl of pasta since I was six and I had never, ever had salsa. My parents never bought it and my uncle didn't know a diet that didn't only include some sort of alcohol, cōcaine and cigarettes.

Needless to say, being surrounded by the rich kids and their feasts made me self-conscious in pulling out my own food. But I was hungry, so I pulled the piece of bread from my bag and quietly nibbled on it, savouring what little butter I'd managed to spread on it at home before school.

I kept my eyes on the table but I could tell everyone was looking at me. I couldn't look up, though, so I just kept my head down hoping they'd go back to talking. My hopes were crushed when Bee nudged my right elbow.

"Are you missing the other half?" She asked.

 _Not just the other half._ "No, I was rushing this morning so this is all I had time to pack."

She nodded. "Well if you have any money on you, the food here's really good."

I shook my head and waved her off. "I'm fine, I didn't grab any anyway."

"That's not a lunch, Lainey. Have some of my grapes or something."

"I'm seriously okay, I'm not that hungry." But I was. I wouldn't take her food, though. I could never do that.

She eyed me suspiciously. "Alright fine."

I went back to slowly eating and trying not to look at everyone doing the same. Harry was right on my left and his pasta smelled amazing.

"What's your next class?"

I looked up in front of me and saw Andy staring back expectantly. I nervously pointed to my chest and raised my eyebrows, silently asking if he was talking to me. He smiled and nodded, so I put my food down and quickly pulled my schedule out of my pocket. The codes were still kind of unknown to me but I remembered the one I was looking at from the day I registered.

"Uh, dance," I said.

When I looked back up, Andy's smile grew and he looked over at Harry, as did Jimmy. I couldn't figure out why because Bee started freaking out.

"Dance?! What group?!" She put down everything she had in her hands and turned to me.

"Group?" I asked, nervous from her exclaiming.

"The last two numbers in the code," she snatched the paper from me to look at herself. "Group one," she whispered. "You're in group one?"

"Um, I guess," I furrowed my eyebrows.

"How did you get into group one?"

"I-I don't know, all I did was audition."

"So you auditioned and now you're in group one," she clarified, mainly to herself.

I bravely turned to Harry whose eyes moved from Bee to me when he noticed me facing him. He was smirking but it faded when he saw me.

"What's so special about group one?" I whispered.

He chuckled. "There are three groups per grade for dance - depending on the amount of people that take the course. Either way, the advanced are separated from the less so. And group one is the advanced group that's very hard to get into. It just so happens that Bee has auditioned to be in group one for every grade since we started high school, but she's always been put in group three."

My lips formed and 'O' and I nodded slightly, unsure how else to respond.

"Group three doesn't even get to join the dance team," Bee sighed and placed my schedule on the table in front of me.

"There's a dance team?" I asked.

"Yep. They go around and compete in a few places and then put on a recital here in June. Fūck, I want a spot so bad."

My hands started to shake. I wasn't one to initiate social interaction, but so far, I liked Bee and I could tell she really wanted to be a part of the dance team. "W-Well, I can... I can help you out if you want. Like, just, improve your technique... put an audition together and see if they'll let you try out. If you want."

Her eyes immediately lifted and she straightened up from her slouched position. "You would do that?"

I nodded. "Of course."

Her jaw fell open in a shocked smile. "Lainey, that would mean so much to me!"

"I'm happy to do it."

Before I knew what was happening, she was reaching over and wrapping me in her arms tightly. I sat frozen and in shock, unable to return the gesture. 

"Uh, Bee," Harry cleared his throat. "I think you're coming on kinda strong."

"Oh, right, sorry," she let go and straightened herself out, giving me the chance to turn and offer Harry a small but grateful smile.

~ ~ ~ ~

I got a few curious stares in dance - I assumed it was because of my oversized jeans and wearing t-shirt. I knew coming to a school where there were no uniforms would be hard, but Saint Bernadette's wasn't affordable anymore. So I let them stare like I knew they would.

Missus McKidd was a tiny, blonde woman who honestly could've passed for twenty years old. If she hadn't mentioned that she'd been married for six years and had a four-year-old son, I would've thought that she was my age. She was very nice, and she was the only one who didn't seem to be judging me with her eyes.

We all kind of just sat around, got to know each other and suggested our favourite songs for this year's routines. I stayed silent through most of it, mainly because I didn't like talking about myself and I had no knowledge of any music apart from the songs I'd heard at my old dance studio. But those were old and unwanted.

Everyone in that class seemed to know each other - which would make sense, since we were all in the twelfth grade and they'd all been going to Scarsdale High School already. I sat a bit further away from the large group they'd formed.

All the girls had perfect bodies - thick legs, toned arms and probably envious stomachs. They guys were jacked. It didn't matter if they were from the hip-hop or contemporary world, they were huge.

I looked down at my hands and wrists that - in all honesty - needed a bit more fat on them. So did my arms, my shoulders, stomach, legs. I was too skinny. Not having had a real meal since I was six did that to me.

When the bell ran and the school day ended, we all stood up and everyone bid their goodbye's. I, however, needed to stay back and ask Missus McKidd something. She was locking up the cabinet that held the stereo as I approached her.

"Missus McKidd?" I fiddled with my hands. "I-I'm Adelaine Fevrole. I don't know if you remember me; I auditioned back in May."

"Of course I remember you," she smiled. "You're one hell of a dancer."

"Th-Thank you," my voice shook. "I needed to ask you a question, if that's okay."

I couldn't help but pick at the bottom of my already wearing shirt. Her eyes looked there for a split second before meeting mine again. "Go ahead."

"I was just wondering if there was a chance I could help you out with anything this year. I-I know this school has a dance club so I can help with choreography or something." The only reason I was offering was so that I could do a really good job and have her invite me back the next year to do the same thing, but for money. I was scraping up dollars tutoring a few fifth grade students and shelving at a small, old grocery store. I wasn't earning much and I refused to take money out of the savings account my parents started for college. I already lost all the money I had for high school, I wasn't going to let college slip away.

Missus McKidd stopped what she was doing to look me up and down. I was nervous she'd laugh in my face - a lot of people did. I could feel my confidence getting weaker than it already was and I wanted to run. But I needed to know.

"I'll do you one better," she smirked. "Instead of helping with choreography for dance club, you can choreograph a few numbers for the dance team."

My eyes widened. "Dance team?"

She nodded. "I'll pay you."

"What?" I breathed. "You don't-"

"I've seen you dance. And I know you put your audition together yourself. You've got a lot more talent than most people in dance at this school."

"I don't know... Wouldn't being new and teaching for the team make me seem kind of-"

She shook her head. "Absolutely not. I know these guys seem intimidating, but trust me when I say that they're the most welcoming group of people I know. They'll love you. And your choreography."

I nodded and let out a shaky breath. "Okay, I'll do it."

"Great! I'll guarantee you a spot on the team if you want it. Otherwise, auditions are next month and you're welcome to take a spot on the panel with me and the other dance teacher Missus Riley. You and I can discuss payment as the time gets closer, alright?"

"Y-Yeah."

"And you go by Lainey?"

I nodded.

"Okay, cool. Well I'll see you tomorrow. Have a good night, Sweetheart."

"You, too," I stumbled to and out the door. 

Well, that went differently than expected. I wasn't complaining, but I wasn't planning on her being so forward.

With my hands tightly clutching the straps of my bag, I walked down the almost empty hallway to the back exit of the school. The entrances at the front and at the student parking lot I though would be too crowded. And the back exit ushered me in the direction I was going anyway.

The air was hot and humid on my skin and I immediately tied my hair up in a ponytail. I hated the heat, and I hated the cold. Mostly, I hated having to put up with both in the wrong attire on my fifty-minute walk home. But I had no other choice; my uncle and I didn't have a car and if I was ever offered a ride home, I'd refuse. I hated being a burden and I didn't want anyone to find out where I lived. The words 'Meadowbrook Park' brought disgust and distaste to the people of Scarsdale, and my shy, introverted personality was already enough to make people turn away. I was judged enough, I was lonely enough, I was ashamed enough.

I arrived at Finch and Morello and, like always, I stared down the North end of Finch - the direction I would've walked had my parents still been alive. I put my head down, folded my hands together and said a short prayer. I was never religious and I wasn't raised that way either. But I always felt like if I was going to pray, it would be for my parents. So that was what I did whenever I was reminded of them.

I finished my prayer and turned right, going South on Finch for another thirty minutes until I finally arrived in Meadowbrook. I tried to make myself look more brave as I passed by shirtless, fifty-year-old men - one of whom broke into my room when I was ten - teenage drug dealers that have all used me as a pawn against my uncle - he'd stopped them from killing me three times - a few young women with newborns earning money from prostitution, and drug addicted teenage boys - who all chased me home one night after dance practiced when I stupidly decided I was too tired to change out of my tank top and shorts. Meadowbrook Park was not a friendly place.

My house was near the back of the neighbourhood so I had a lot of scary people to avoid on my way. When I finally got there, I opened the door and the familiar scent of marijuana wafted over to me. I made my way to what used to be the family room and saw my uncle on the couch, joint between his lips and fingers working hastily to make his afternoon lines.

As always, the sight of him gave me the urge to run as fast as I could in the other direction. But I had nowhere to go, so I forced myself to think of the times he'd been a decent human being.

He heard my screaming and got the old pervert off of me before anything happened.

He always scraped up enough money to get the drug dealers to remove the nozzle of their guns from the side of my head.

He grabbed his shotgun and scared the boys away and they've since been too scared to do more than wink or catcall on their own property.

Three reasons. Just three reasons not to completely hate him.

He looked me up and down and stopped his actions. He said and did nothing, just looked at me with a hard expression.

"School was good," I tried to start conversation.

"I didn't ask," he spoke gruffly.

I rolled my eyes. "I'm just trying to talk."

"You're always trying to talk. You talk too much."

"I just-"

"Just shut up," he leaned forward again to separate the powder.

I stared at him incredulously. "I'm so sick of this shīt," I gestured toward the table. Swearing was rare for me.

He threw what he had in his hands down and forcefully stood up, walking over to me and flicking his joint in my direction. I flinched out of the way but couldn't avoid his hand closing around my throat. I raised my hands and scratched at his arms when he squeezed.

"Would you rather live on the street then?" He threatened. "Or maybe with old man Peter down the road. That way he wouldn't have to climb up the side of my house and break one of my windows to get it in."

I violently squirmed and slapped at his tightening hand. My eyes were wide and scared because of him and because of the lack of air getting to my lungs. 

"You're an ungrateful little bitch," he slammed me up against the nearest wall. My head throbbed but he let go. I slid to the floor in a fit of desperate coughs and breaths. As he turned back to his drug table, I crawled out of the room to where I'd dropped my bag and shakily stood to my feet to stumble up the stairs.

My room was hot and humid; there were no drapes and my uncle had opened all the windows when he started smoking - as always - so the hot sun and air spilled inside. I tiredly fell onto my bed - a thin mattress on the floor - and decided to distract myself from the pain in my throat by working on homework. I had to put together questions for Harry. Harry. His company that day was enough to keep me sane as I wrote and held back tears.

 _You'll see him tomorrow,_ I thought to myself.  _You'll see him and Bee tomorrow._


	6. Adelaine

"What is your full name?"

"Harry Edward Styles."

"When is your birthday?"

"February first."

"In what city were you born?"

"New York City."

I continued asking Harry all the questions I had put together - in English rather than in French - that included his favourite colour, his first pet, extra-curricular activities and other things that he claimed to be irrelevant when getting to know someone.

"What's so important about what city I was born in?"

"It's basic knowledge about someone," I defended myself.

"Keyword:  _basic_ ," he smirked.

"You're making me nervous to answer your questions," I twisted my fingers together.

"As you should be," he chuckled, reaching forward to grab his papers. "Question one: what is your favourite pass-time?"

My nervous expression dropped. "How's that relevant?"

"Answer the question, Addie," he rolled his eyes.

I sighed. "Dance."

"That's it?"

I shrugged. "I'm not an interesting person."

"Don't doubt yourself. Question two: what is your favourite meal?"

My stomach grumbled at just the thought. I thought of food daily - usually when I was in my room at night eating the usual cup of yogurt or piece of bread. I always imagined all the other things I could've been eating.

When my parents were alive, we had special Friday night dinners where all of us would contribute something to our meal. Friday nights were my favourite because 1) I got to help make dessert and 2) there was a huge chance my mom would make my favourite thing in the entire world.

"Macaroni and cheese," I giggled like a little girl, thinking about all the pieces of macaroni that would stick to my face in my haste to clear my plate.

Harry smiled. "And I thought you were so classy. Question three: if you could go back in time to one moment, what would it be?"

And my smile faded. Because I knew the answer, and I had for a while. My nose stung and I looked away from Harry.

"Did I hit a nerve?" Harry asked, his hands slowly and cautiously reaching toward me.

"No," I snapped. "I went to Disney World when I was a kid."

Harry wasn't convinced. He wasn't convinced that I was thinking about Disney World when I was actually thinking about the night of the accident. I wasn't thinking about Mickey Mouse and Space Mountain, I was thinking about waking up in the backseat confused as to why my parents weren't moving. I was thinking about how I stupidly sat there thinking they were sleeping with their eyes open even when the ambulances arrived.

I was thinking about the rough, frantic hands that pulled me from the car before I could kiss their cheeks or say goodbye. If I were to go back in time to any moment it would be my parents' death so I wouldn't feel guilty anymore.

I could feel myself getting worked up and I didn't want Harry to notice. So I took a deep breath and glued a fake - although small - smile on my face. "I was sick and really young so I don't remember most of it, that's why I want to go back."

He shook his head with mock disappointment on his face. "What a typical spoiled-kid answer."

I tried not to scoff at 'spoiled.' I shrugged. "Well I guess that makes me one, then."

"As long as you're not the 'Daddy, I want a pony' type of girl then you're not too bad."

I laughed. "Nope, never wanted one of those."

He smiled. "Alright, on to question four: what is your favourite TV show?"

I blushed. "I um... I actually don-"

"Ramasser vos choses!"  _(Pack up your things!)_

I sighed in relief when Mme. Baudin stopped me from either having to come up with a lie or having to explain why I haven't watched TV in twelve years. Without even acknowledging Harry, I stood up and started putting my books and papers in my bag.

"Eager?" Harry asked.

"What? Yeah.. yeah," I stuttered, making him chuckle.

"You're weird, Addie."

I just smiled awkwardly and swung my bag on my back, ready to leave.

"Did you have time to make a better lunch?" He asked as he caught up with me in the hallway.

"Uh, kind of. Not really," I said quietly.

"Why not?"

"I was working."

"Good," he said firmly.

His hard voice scared me, so I tried closing in on myself and leaning away from him. I couldn't open my mouth and casually ask why he seemed so stern because I was conditioned to shut up and take what was coming next. I wasn't supposed to ask questions or talk back - like I had the night before. I reached up and brushed my fingers over the sweater I chose to wear because of its high-rise collar.

"Everyone should go out and earn money, and that includes us - the kids with rich parents," he seemed so proud. He held his chin high.

"S-So you have a job?" I asked.

"Yep," he nodded once. "I'm in construction."

That was proof that he was strong. Strong enough to push me to the ground; to hold me still at his mercy; to squeeze my neck until I passed out.

"What do you do?" I jumped when I heard his voice after briefly imagining it yelling at me and threatening me.

"I-I tutor... I tutor this-this... these... several fifth graders," my throat was closing up with what I was imagining.

"Addie you're, like, shaking," he took a few quick steps to stand in front of me. "Are you ok?"

I nodded. "I have to go."

I tried to walk past him but he stepped back and held his arm out to stop me. "Wait, wait-"

"Harry, I have to go."

He reached forward to grab my shoulders but I jumped back, staring at his large threatening hands. "Just come eat with us, you'll be fine."

I huffed and charged forward, my body jerking away when his hand brushed my arm. I needed to get away from him. I needed to get  _far_  away from him.

"Addie!"

I tucked my chin into my chest and wiped my cheeks as I ran down the hall, away from Harry.

 


	7. Harry

"I need to leave early," I stood at my teacher's desk, my hands fisting the straps of my bag and my heart beating fast. I couldn't stop thinking about Addie and how freaked out she looked after French. Something set her off and I had no idea what it was; I just hoped it wasn't me.

Bee, of course, thought it was. She kept asking me what I'd done after I told her Addie had taken off. "You need to be gentle with her," she'd said. I already knew that, though. Addie seemed to have a bit of anxiety and fear when it came to human contact - verbal and physical. She never looked you in the eye when she spoke; she flinched when you got too close to her; she felt the need to cover her ears when it got too loud - I knew because I'd seen her attempt to do it.

Confronting her and asking her what was wrong didn't seem like the best idea based on these things, but I needed to know if she was ok. That was why I was trying to get out of class early.

"And why is that, Styles?" Mr. Copeland asked, folding his hands on his desk.

"My grandmother's doctor's appointment is in, like, twenty minutes and I'm the only one who can take her," I lied. I was really just going to meet Addie at the dance studio before the bell rang and she left.

Mr. Copeland rolled his eyes. "Good one, just go. I look forward to hearing more of your excuses this semester." 

"Excuses?" I played. "Sir, I have never fed you one excuse in my life."

"Get out, Harry," he chuckled, nodding to the door.

"See ya, Copeland."

Once I was out of class, I hastily made my way to the stairs and to the first floor. I passed a few people I knew and said hi as I walked by. I couldn't stop and talk like I usually would because I only had two minutes to get to her class.

I made it to the change room beside the dance studio just as the bell rang and the hallway started to fill up with students. It took about forty-five more seconds for the door to the change room swing open. I looked up in anticipation but it wasn't Addie. It was Cassandra.

"Oh my God, hi," she smiled when she saw me.

I smiled back. "Hey."

"How've you been? You look fantastic," she stood right in front of me.

"I'm doing pretty well, thanks. What about you?"

She shrugged. "You know, not amazing but not terrible."

My chest tightened with guilt. "Look, I'm really sorry about how I ended things."

She waved me off. "Don't worry about it-"

"No, seriously. Breaking up over the phone was stupid and I'm sorry I did it. You deserved better than that."

"I didn't."

"You did, you got me to the hospital."

"After we used together."

I sighed. "You still saved my life, and I should've waited until I saw you to... you know."

"No, I'm glad you did it that way. We needed to be separated."

My shoulders sank. "So you're still using, then?"

She bit her lip and looked down, nodding nonetheless. "Here and there, yeah."

I stepped forward and placed my hands on her shoulders. "Get help."

She shook her head. "I still need it; I can't give it up yet."

"Cass, one day you're going to OD. You don't think you will, but you will. And it'll be the scariest thing that's ever happened to you. Stop now before you get to that point. Please."

She shuddered. "I-"

"How much do you have?"

"On me or at home?" She sniffled.

"Both."

"Too much... I have too much, Harry."

"Flush it, as soon as you get home flush it and text me. All of it, Cassandra, don't be a pūssy."

She nodded and collapsed forward into my arms. I held her tightly, remembering how badly I wanted someone to hug me when I was in rehab. I was going to help the best I could because there was a time when I had loved her more than anything else. I thought her and I were it - I thought we were going to get married and be together until we died. But when I was putting my life back together, I realized that our relationship had become the result of mutual drug use near the end. And I knew what was best for me and what my priorities had become.

With my arms around her, I knew that just because I didn't love her any longer, that didn't mean I couldn't still care. She needed help and I'd be there for her.

She pulled back after a moment and she smiled through her tears. "I'm fine, sorry. I'm ok. I'm gonna go."

"Text me, ok?"

She nodded, starting to walk down the hall. "I will. Thanks, Harry."

And then she was gone. That was a pretty fūcking intense five-minute conversation. I let out a breath and focused on the door to the change room once again.

After about a minute, the door opened and out walked Addie with a plastic bag in her hands. I assumed that was to hold her dance clothes. Her eyes widened and she froze when she saw me.

"I just wanted to make sure you were ok," I said innocently and quietly.

"I'm fine," she ran a hand through her hair and shuffled over to me.

"Are you sure?"

She nodded. "I was just... it was..."

"You don't have to tell me anything. No need for an explanation."

She smiled slightly. "Thank you."

We stood still for a while until I asked her which way she was walking out and we headed in that direction.

"How was dance?" I asked.

"Not bad, we didn't do much - just some stretching and a couple combos," she shrugged.

"Have you made any friends yet?"

"Not really."

"There's a Cassandra in gym class fourth period, she shares the change room with your class. You may have seen her; she's got really long blonde hair and dark brown eyes. She was probably talking up a storm in there."

"Oh, yeah," she nodded. "I saw her."

"She's a good friend. We actually dated for a while. She's nice, you'd like her. I can introduce you two if you'd like."

She inhaled and smiled a closed-lipped smile. "Yeah... thanks, Harry."

I nodded. "Do you consider us friends?"

She coughed quietly. "Y-Yeah, I guess we are."

"You guess?" I could tell she was getting nervous, so I tried to ease the tension by being an idiot. "God, that hurts. It's like yesterday when you didn't want to eat with me. I'm gonna go home and cry myself to sleep-"

"Harry!" She smiled. "We're friends."

I liked seeing her smile, even though it didn't reach her eyes. It didn't seem like something she did a lot.

"Ok, good. That saved me from running mascara," I dabbed under my eyes.

We got to the back doors of the school and she reached forward to grab the handle.

"So, friend, do you have a ride?" I asked.

"I walk, actually."

"Do you live close?"

"Yeah," she answered too quickly.

"Likely, follow me," I waved her over and walked down another hallway.

"No it's fine, I like walking. It's good exercise."

"You just got out of dance class," I turned back around. "You've completed your exercise for the day."

"Seriously, Harry, I don't need a ride," she fought.

"I'm not leaving here without you so you might as well just come now," I crossed my arms over my chest.

She huffed. "Fine," she sulked and walked over to me, following me to the student parking lot doors. When we got outside, I threw my sunglasses on and cursed the weather. I hated the heat. I turned to look at Addie and couldn't imagine how hot she must've been.

"Aren't you, like, sweating in that?"

She looked down at her thick black sweater and shrugged. "I'm fine."

"I'm dying in a t-shirt," I mumbled, pulling my keys out of my pocket and pressing the unlock button. The lights of my black Volkswagen Tiguan blinked and I walked in that direction.

"Would it be offensive if I said I expected a different car?" Addie said shyly from behind me.

"Different like more expensive?" I smirked over my shoulder.

"Well... y-yeah, sorry."

"Don't be, I'm not offended; I'm proud. I never wanted expensive cars like my dad. I bought this one myself with my own money. It's like a child to me," I chuckled, making her smile.

"You  _should_  be proud, that's admirable."

I quickly rushed to the passenger's side and opened the door for her. She shyly brushed passed me and pushed herself up onto the seat. When I got in, the humid air almost killed me and I immediately felt guilty and embarrassed. I turned the car on and rolled down the windows, watching as Addie curiously looked around inside the car.

"You ok?" I asked.

"Yeah, I'm good," she nodded, doing up her seatbelt.

"So where am I going?" I shifted the gear to drive.

"Um, Finch and Morello. N-North on Finch to Starspark Avenue," she said monotonously. I knew she probably didn't like telling everyone where she lived - especially since it was such a wealthy area like Starspark Avenue. If she was anything like me, she probably felt like she was gloating and ashamed that she had to share that information. I always got worried that people would judge me and assume what kind of person I was based on my living conditions - that's why I made friends with as many people as I could. So they'd know the real me.

"I live two blocks South of there," I said.

"Watercolour Road?"

"Yeah."

"I had a friend on that street when I was a kid, Laura. She moved when we were, like, five."

"I'm surprised we've never bumped into each other; we live close enough."

She nodded and hummed - shakily.

I turned the music on so the rest of the ride wouldn't be too quiet. I offered to let Addie choose a station, but she said she didn't listen to music and didn't know many songs. For a dancer, I thought that was interesting, but I let it go.

When we got to Finch and Morello, Addie seemed to tense up - she sat up straighter and clasped her hands tightly in her lap. She looked like she needed a distraction so I spoke.

"How long have you been dancing?"

She looked over at me with her eyebrows furrowed. "Uh, fifteen years I think."

"Jesus Christ," I huffed, not expecting that answer. "Fifteen years? You must be amazing."

Her body relaxed as she shyly smiled. "Not really. I see it as more of a hobby anyway."

"Have you ever won any awards?"

"Uh, yeah. I've gotten a few national titles."

" _National?_ " That girl was blowing my mind. "That's one hell of a hobby, Addie."

She giggled.

"Where were the competitions?"

"New York City."

"Prestigious," I nodded, impressed. "Your parents must be proud."

Her body tensed again. I immediately wanted to take back what I said; whatever it was. It seemed as if anything could set her off - I had no idea what the specifics were. I wished I did because I didn't like seeing her so uncomfortable. The conversation died after that and Addie took to looking out the window at the houses that were increasing in size as we got closer and closer to her street.

We turned onto Starspark and I was met with the familiar scene of prestigious mansions that may as well have had diamonds on them. My street was exactly the same.

"That one," Addie pointed her small index finger at a rather beautiful home. It was cream coloured with white windows and brown garage and front doors. A sleek, black Ranger Rover and a mouth-wateringly beautiful Mercedes were sitting comfortably on the driveway. I admired the fact that her mansion looked lived-in, whereas mine just radiated loneliness and alienation. Maybe it was because I knew Addie lived there, but still.

I pulled up beside her place and looked over at her, staring intensely at it.

"Thanks for the ride," she whispered, never once looking at me.

"No worries, you have a key, right?" I asked.

She nodded slowly. "Yeah, see you, Harry," she looked almost hypnotized as she got out of the car and walked toward her house. It was as if it was the most magnificent thing - like an amusement park to a kid. Her facial expression wasn't clearly happy or sad so I couldn't figure out what she was feeling, but I wondered if she reacted that way every time she arrived home.

I watched as she slowly made her way to the gate, fiddling with the handle and having to pull with much force to get it to open. She ran her fingers over the wood as she walked forward until it closed behind her. Assuming she'd make it in ok, I put the car back in drive and turned around to go out the way I had come in.


	8. Adelaine

Nothing was different. The flowers, the treehouse, the pool I never swam in. Everything looked like how I remembered it. My old home.

I slowly walked along the side of the house, mesmerized by the memories that were rushing back to me all at once. Falling over and scraping my knee on the interlock, leaving me with a scar - burying my pet hamster in the grass passed the pool - helping my dad flip burgers on the barbecue whenever we invited the neighbours over.

I knew I had to leave - assuming Harry had already left - but I couldn't turn around. Instead, I continued walking until I saw a window, and I went up to it. Any sensible thinking was long gone by then and I basically pressed my nose against the cool glass. It was the living room and it was empty, so I stayed and observed.

The walls weren't painted a different colour; they remained a cozy, warm maroon. The furniture, though, had gone from sleek black to cringe-worthy white - it did not fit at all. The picture frames on the walls were hung as if by fluke; there was no pattern or strategic placement like before. It was just a mess.

I turned my neck in such a way for me to see somewhat into the kitchen. The owners had painted it white and all the accessories in the room were the same - which made me wonder if they were planning on painting the living room. If they were planning on making everything white. If they were planning on starting over and erasing every detail that house had to offer. Every detail  _my_  house had to offer.

I pushed myself away from the window in a sudden realization that everything was going away. I didn't have my parents, I didn't have any of my things from when I was a kid and the home I'd been taken away from was being transformed into something completely different. It wouldn't be long before I ran out of things that kept me close to my parents. I didn't even have a picture.

With tears in my eyes, I ran out the way I'd come in and made sure Harry was really gone before walking back along Starspark until I got to Finch. I needed to get home quickly so he wouldn't say I was 'late' and use that as a reason to beat me. His house had strict rules, I just didn't know them.

The heat was becoming trapped in my sweater and I could feel my body wanting to give up. Thirty minutes into my walk, I needed to sit down in a small patch of shade in dry grass on the side of the street. I sat for a while, my breathing heavy and fingers itching to take the sweater off. I wouldn't risk exposing the bruises, though, so it stayed on.

I pushed myself up and trudged along the side of the street that was getting more and more isolated and unfriendly. I ignored it all and kept my head down until I got home.

John said I was late, so I had to sleep in the closet.


	9. Adelaine

"Merci classe! Vous avez bien compris le but du projet,"  _(Thank you, everyone! You've all done a great job with this project)_ Madame Baudin clapped her hands together and Harry and I gave each other a look, knowing we did this best out of the whole class.

It had been a week. A week of putting that project together, getting to know each other, rides "home" and secret walks  _home_. One week and I was warming up to him. His friends as well, but I felt a different kind of warm with Harry. Yeah, "warming up" wasn't just a saying in my case.

We happily walked to lunch together after playfully teasing Madame about how we knew she liked us the best - which she never denied. When we got there, Harry went straight to buy his food while I sat down with Bee, Jimmy and Andy.

"How was the French project?" Bee asked as we grabbed our lunches from our bags.

I smiled. "We did the best in our class, she didn't say it but we know it's true. We even made up a song."

"Wasn't it just like a biography thing?"

"Yeah and we did that, we were just super creative. We dressed up as each other and handed out headshots like we were auditioning for a part in a movie or something and the class were the directors. We got up and spoke about ourselves - I was him and he was me - and then Harry busted out a song he'd written about me as a joke and that was it."

Her, Andy and Jimmy laughed and we started eating.

"So how much do you like him?" Jimmy asked.

My eyes widened and I put down my yogurt. "What?"

"Don't pretend, we all see it," Andy chimed in.

"Leave her alone," Bee sighed.

"What? See what?"

"Nothing," she shook her head.

"You and Harry," Andy disregarded what she said.

"What about me and Harry?"

"Lainey, don't būllshit us."

My heart sped up a bit at his choice of words. "I don't like him that way."

"We're not gonna say anything to him, L," Jimmy said. "You're our friend too now. Your secret's safe with us."

I felt like crying in gratitude; I hadn't been called someone's friend in a very long time. Regardless, I attempted again to shut down their assumptions. "I don't know what secret you're talking about."

"Give it up, Lainey," Andy said, making Jimmy and even Bee laugh.

I shook my head at them. "Fine," I gave up. "Just don't... don't..."

"He's coming," Jimmy gushed quietly.

We had all somehow leaned in closer to each other during our conversation so we all jumped back and started eating again. I stiffened slightly when I felt a presence behind me until I realized it was probably just Harry.

I jumped when something white appeared in front of me. I could feel the warmth coming off of it and the mouth-watering smell made my eyes widen.

"A patty for Addie," Harry said, holding the Jamaican patty in its white packaging in front of my nose.

"What?" I asked, turning to look up at him.

"Take it," he nodded toward the food. "It's yours."

He placed it down on the table in front of me when I didn't grab it. He sat down next to me and looked over expectantly.

"I-I can't take this, Harry," I shook my head.

"You never eat and you never bring any money to buy something so take it."

"But-"

"No," he held his finger up. "No but's. Take it."

I reached out for it but retracted as soon as my fingertips touched the white paper bag. I felt terrible; I felt like I was taking advantage.

Harry sighed and grabbed it himself, pushing the bag down, revealing a corner of the patty. I'd never had one before but I knew what they were made of. I'd have been lying if I said I wasn't tempted. He held it to my lips and waited.

"Adelaine," he huffed.

I rolled my eyes and took a bite, glaring at him right after. Until I tasted what was on my tongue. It was amazing; it was real food. I grabbed it slowly from Harry's hands and took a bigger bite before I'd even swallowed my first one. I briefly heard Harry chuckle before I was sucked into my own world of Jamaican patties. I didn't hear or see what was happening around me as I was solely focused on the smell, appearance and taste of the hot food in my hands.

The warmth spread throughout my entire body. The slight spice tickled my tongue. My constant craving for food was slowly starting to rest with each bite I took.

"Lainey?" I heard someone say, but I ignored them. "Lainey," they tapped my right shoulder.

I jumped and looked over at a smirking Bee. I was trying to figure out why she was giving me that look until her eyes flickered to just in front of me. I looked at my hands and noticed I had finished the patty and almost stuffed my face in the bag.

"I think you're done," she laughed.

"Oh," I lowered my hands. "Yeah."

"Wasn't that better than a piece of bread?" Harry asked.

"How much was it?" I began folding the bag to throw it out, ignoring what he said.

"Why?" He furrowed his eyebrows.

"I'll pay you back, how much was it?"

"No, no, you're not paying for anything. It was just a patty, you owe me nothing."

I sighed. "Please? I-I don't like when people buy things for me, just let me pay for it, it'll make me feel better."

"No," he grabbed his sandwich and looked away from me.

"Harry," I gently placed my hand on his shoulder. I didn't want to push any boundaries so my hand was almost hovering and my voice was a whisper. "Please."

He put his food down and sighed. "Two-fifty."

I smiled. "Thank you."

"I won't promise I'll take it from you," he mumbled.

"Don't be difficult."

"You're being difficult," he laughed.

I couldn't hold back my smile no matter how hard I tried. "We're arguing over a patty."

"Our lives sure are exciting."

A quick glance at the other people at the table informed me that Andy, Jimmy and Bee had started their own conversation, no longer paying any mind to Harry and I.

"Hey, I don't have your number," Harry said with half a mouthful.

"Oh, I don't have a cell phone."

"Really?"

I picked up my yogurt and nodded at him.

"So you don't text or email or anything?"

"Nope, I don't even have an email address," I left out the part where I barely understood what texting actually was.

"That's..." he widened his eyes.

"Weird?"

"No!" He laughed. "It's refreshing. Everyone's always glued to their phones. I've noticed that you were never like that; now I know why."

I couldn't explain the blush on my cheeks, just that it made my whole body hot. "I uh, I have a home phone, though."

He sat up a bit straighter. "Oh yeah?"

"Yeah," I nodded.

"So... do you think maybe... I could..." he waited for me to finish that thought.

"Sure, but uh- this might sound weird."

He shrugged. "Spill it."

"I have to be the one to call you," I cringed. I couldn't explain why, but I couldn't just let him call and risk having John pick up and hit me for having a boy call his house.

I could tell he wanted to ask, but thankfully he didn't voice that. "That's alright. Give me a pen and I'll give you my cell number."

We exchanged - I gave him mine so it would be programmed into his phone and he'd know to pick up if I called.

"You know, Addie, one day I'll get you to spill all your secrets," he smirked but I could tell he was being serious. 

"One day," I whispered.

~ ~ ~ ~

"Seven-and-eight!" Missus McKidd called and we all groaned out of fatigue once we finished.

"That combo fūcking kicked my āss," one of the dancers, Lauren, huffed under her breath.

"Good work everyone, tomorrow we're starting our actual dances for the show. Also, remember auditions for the dance team are in a few weeks so start preparing if you want a spot. This year you've got me, Missus Riley and Lainey, here, to impress."

I widened my eyes, wanting the floor to suck me beneath the surface as everyone turned to look at me. I didn't know she was going to say that at all.

"See you all tomorrow," Missus McKidd clapped her hands and we all started walking to the door.

"Hey, Lainey," I turned and saw Lauren and two other girls looking at me. "What was Missus McKidd talking about?"

My chest tightened; they were going to hate me. "She invited me to help out at the auditions and she asked if I could choreograph a few numbers."

"For the team?" Lauren's friend, Ally, asked with wide eyes.

I nodded and noticed a few more people join our little huddle.

"That's so cool!" Lauren smiled.

"What?" Patrick, the b-boy, asked.

"Lainey's choreographing for dance team!" Ally said, smiling and clapping her hands.

"No way, man, that's sick," Patrick held his fist out, which I apprehensively hit with my own.

"You're an amazing dancer, it makes sense," Lauren said and everyone around us nodded.

"Uh, thanks," I breathed.

We continued to chat on our way into the change room, where the boys departed. As I put on my jean shorts and plain black t-shirt, the girls kept asking me questions about dance. I was fine answering their questions, but I felt self-conscious when the girl's P.E. class walked in and started listening.

"You're Lainey?" A girl with long blonde hair stood beside me and asked. She cut off anyone from dance asking me another question. 

"Yeah," I nodded.

"I'm Cassandra, Harry's friend."

I knew I recognized her. She was the one who Harry had said was a good friend. Or  _would_  be a good friend.

"Yeah, he's mentioned you a few times. It's nice to meet you."

"You too! I didn't mean to eavesdrop but I heard about dance team, congrats," she smiled.

"Oh, thanks," I pulled down my top and smiled gently.

"I won't keep you long, I know Harry's probably waiting outside for you, but I hope you have fun. I have a few friends who were on dance team last year and they said it's very welcoming."

I let a breath out. "Thanks, that's good to hear."

She nodded. "See you around."

I waved and said goodbye to her and the dance girls on my way out. Harry was tapping the screen of his phone, leaning against the wall across from the change room.

"Hey," I spoke quietly.

He looked up and pocketed his phone when he saw me. "Hey, Bee wanted me to ask you if you could start helping with her audition tomorrow."

"Oh, yeah sure," I smiled. "Where does she want to do it?"

He gestured for me to start walking and butterflies swarmed my stomach when his hand touched my lower back briefly.

"She said you guys can do it in the dance room after school. Mrs. McKidd keeps the room open in preparation for auditions. Bee booked it for tomorrow."

"Ok, well just tell her to bring her music."

He laughed. "She's like fifteen steps ahead of you. She's ready to bring in costumes, makeup, hair-... things...?"

I giggled. "She's super excited, then."

"It means a lot to her. And she's really grateful that you're doing this for her."

I shrugged. "Everyone deserves a chance. I'm happy to give her that."

"Thank you," he whispered.

"For what?"

He sped up and stepped in front of me. "She's my best friend."

I smiled gently and then widened my eyes when he raised his hand and held it close to my face. Why wasn't I flinching away? He was so close to me and I hadn't moved away. I couldn't figure out why my natural instincts hadn't kicked in, but deep down something told me I wanted to feel him.

There was an ever-growing warmth on my left cheek where his palm was just about to rest. I looked up and saw his eyes on the small space between his fingers and my cheek. Then his eyes were on mine.

"You're welcome," I blurted out, feeling like he was waiting for me to say something.

I regretted opening my mouth when his lips rolled in to stop himself from smiling. He dropped his hand and stepped away from me, gesturing with a flick of his head to follow him the rest of the way to his car.


	10. Adelaine

"Lainey, sweetie, can you unload this box please?"

I poked my head out from one of the aisles and looked toward the entrance. Missus Dupont stood with a cardboard box in her hand. I rushed over after noticing her seeming to struggle with holding it. I grabbed it from her with a smile and set it down on the closest counter to check was what inside. Soup cans.

I picked up the heavy box and strolled to aisle three and placed it on the ground when I was in front of the soup section. I started grabbing them two at a time and stacking them on the shelves. I jumped when I heard a smack on my left and hurried over to pick up the wooden broom that Missus Dupont had dropped.

"Thank you, Dear," she smiled warmly.

Mister and Missus Dupont owned the grocery store I worked at, Dupont's Essentials. They were a very sweet older couple that took me in immediately and had treated me with so much respect since the day I met them. With such a small, unpopular store, I was their only employee. And because we were so unpopular, I didn't get paid very much money - which was why I also tutored. The reasonable thing to do would have been to find a better paying job, but I couldn't leave the Dupont's; they were much too sweet.

As I passed the broom back to her, the bell at the front entrance rang and we both froze, staring at each other in confusion and excitement. We had a customer.

In a silent agreement, we decided to tiptoe back down the aisle to see who it was. We made sure we didn't accidentally bump into each other or into the shelves. Once we got near the end, I held my breath and ran through all the customer service techniques I'd learned in preparation for this job.

Smile. Approach, but don't look eager. Offer help, but don't demand. Observe, but don't stalk. Recommend, but don't push.

Missus Dupont and I looked at each other one last time before peeking out at the entrance. There, we saw a greying man peeking into one of the boxes of new products that had just been delivered. He looked up at us and my growing smile faded, and I was sure Missus Dupont's did as well.

"Hi, Honey," she sighed. "We thought you were a customer."

Mister Dupont smiled. "Is that why you were both looking at me like kids would look at Santa?"

I laughed weakly. "That would be why."

"I just want things to be like they were before," Missus Dupont walked over into her husband's arms.

She meant before a Target opened across the street and stole all our customers.

"It will be," Mister Dupont kissed her head and smiled at me. "One day it will be."

~ ~ ~ ~

"You can do this, you can do this, you can do this," I continued to whisper to myself as I slowly walked down the stairs with the Jamaican patty bag in my hand. "You can do this."

I knew he wasn't home, but I still checked the family room for my uncle. My heart slowed down a bit when I saw an empty couch and a table with remnants of cocaine littering the dirty glass. I nodded once to myself and walked in the other direction to the kitchen where the phone was.

I took it off the wall and listened to the dial tone as I unfolded the white paper bag and uncovered Harry's handwriting. I shakily dialled the number he'd written down and continuously reminded myself that he'd asked me on the ride home to call him; he wanted me to. So I wouldn't have been intruding, right?

With every ring, I became more and more regretful. I came so close to hanging up, but then he answered.


	11. Harry

I was in the middle of my philosophy homework when she called me. My phone was face-up on my desk where I was working and I nearly jumped out of my seat when it started vibrating. My room was so quiet - I didn't even have music on - so the noise surprised me.

When I saw her name, a huge smile spread on my face; I couldn't contain it. Something about her just made me so happy.  _She_ **made me happy. There was so much I still needed to learn about her, and every time I thought I was getting somewhere she'd throw a curveball, but she was special and made me feel warm and welcome.**

I eagerly grabbed my phone and basically threw my pencil down on my desk like it was the most unimportant thing. I tried to contain my excitement upon answering, but it was bound to come through eventually.

"Hello, Adelaine," I smirked to myself.

She breathed a laugh. "H-Hi, Harry."

I smiled at how cute she was when she was nervous. "How's your night been so far?"

"Okay, I haven't really done much other than some homework."

"When do you work?" I remembered her telling me that she worked as a tutor for fifth graders.

"Um, Wednesdays and Thursdays, and then sometimes Mondays depending on when one of the kids has their soccer games."

"Do you like being a tutor?"

She laughed a bit. "Yeah, I do. I really love helping people."

"You're a really sweet girl, you know that?" I raised my eyebrows.

She didn't say anything, just sighed deeply.

"Addie?"

"Yeah?"

I paused, trying to think of a way to make her laugh. "Je m'appele Adelaine. Savez-vous? Écoutez. Cheveux bruns, les yeux bleus. Et je suis une danseuse. Ne m'appelez pas, par mon nom. La raison est: c'est trop long. Vous pouvez m'appelez Lainey! Oui, vous pouvez m'appelez Lainey!"  _(_ **This isn't going to rhyme in English** _..._ _My name is Adelaine. Did you know? Listen. Brown hair, blue eyes. And I am a dancer. Don't call me by my name. The reason is: it's too long. You can call me Lainey. Yeah, you can call me Lainey.)_

By the time I was finished she was cackling. I was glad to hear her so happy, but upset that I wasn't there with her to see her smile. I hadn't yet seen her smile for real since I'd met her. I imagined what it would look like in my head. Her eyes light, her lips stretched and her small dimples indenting. Addie was beautiful.

"I can't believe you actually sang that in front of the whole class," she giggled.

"You loved it," I smirked.

"Only because it's probably the only reason we'll get a good mark."

I laughed. "Very true. I mean, no offence, Addie, you did great, but sometimes you just gotta let loose and break into song."

"Yeah right, if I could sing I would. I'll just leave that to the professionals."

"Me?"

"Well of course, who else?"

"Should I write another verse?"

"No!"

We laughed and talked for another hour. We got to know more about each other - well, she about me. I did learn, though, that she had worked at a YMCA summer camp the previous year as a special needs counsellor. She only had one participant for the whole summer because the little boy, Connor, refused anyone else. Typically, the special needs counsellors would have a primary participant during the summer, but wouldn't be paired with them every single week. Conner was Addie's primary camper and he quickly grew attached, so when he learned one Monday that he wouldn't be with her, he had a meltdown and wouldn't go anywhere until he saw her.

"I was just lucky that my actual participant for that week hadn't shown up yet, so me and Connor's counsellor swapped."

"They let you do that?" I asked.

"Well they really had no choice; he literally wouldn't do anything but scream until they said I'd be his counsellor. It was bittersweet." 

"Well I don't blame him. Like, if Madame Baudin decided to change the seating arrangement I'd throw a fit."

She giggled. "Please don't do that."

"No promises. Hey, if you don't mind my asking, what made Connor a special needs participant?" Not always the most respectful thing to say, but I was curious.

"It's fine, people always wonder. He's autistic. Pretty high on the spectrum."

I knew all about autism. "Oh, ok. Well, you must be an amazing counsellor if a child with autism throws a fit when you're not around."

"Are you familiar with autism?"

"Yeah, Jimmy's little sister, Ava."

"Jimmy has a sister?"

"Yeah, the cutest kid you've ever seen," I smiled thinking about her chubby cheeks, curly blonde hair and big, big blue eyes.

"How old is she?" She seemed eager; I could tell she loved kids.

"Four, but very, very mature. And quite sassy sometimes," I chuckled, remembering the time she'd called me a fluffy chicken head for putting the wrong dress on her Elsa Barbie.

"Connor was, too. One time he told me he wouldn't play with me because I was too old and I'd break my back. So I said, 'Then how come I can carry you around all day?' and he said, 'You tell me, grandma.'"

I slammed my hand down on my bed, where I had moved during our conversation. My laughter was hard and loud enough to fill the whole house.

"That's classic! What a kid."

"Yeah, he was a good guy."

"You haven't seen him?"

She sighed. "He moved to Wisconsin."

"Wow. Miss him?"

"A lot."

Great. I made her feel like shīt. Her voice was quiet and she sounded depressed. I didn't dwell on it, though, because I had an idea.

"Well, you know, Jimmy's parents are always looking for someone to babysit. Jimmy's always working so he can't do it. If you're interested..."

"Yes! Yes, I'd love to, absolutely," she gushed and I smiled at how excited she sounded.

"You'll love her, she's like the sweetest kid. She'll have you wrapped around her finger. That's why I have two pink tutus in my closet - both of which I bought with my own money."

"Harry!"

I nearly jumped out of my skin when my dad - who I thought was still at work - nearly broke down my door. I even heard Addie sharply inhale over the phone, and then I remembered how freaked out she got over excessive noise.

"Harry?" She was whispering so her voice wouldn't crack - I could tell.

"It's fine, it's my dad."

"Harry, open this door!" His fist hit the wood a few more times.

"Harry?" She said louder, sounding more scared.

"Hey, it's fine. He's just mad because the door's locked," I assured her.

"Oh, for fūck's sake!" Dad yelled.

"Harry," she whimpered.

"Listen, I'm gonna-" she sputtered out a cough. "Addie Baby, are you listening?"

"Ye-" she huffed and sniffled. "Yeah."

"Alright. I'm just gonna talk-"

"Why the hell is this door locked?!"

"-talk to him for two minutes and I'll be right back. Okay?"

"Okay," she breathed.

I couldn't stall any longer so I gently placed my phone down on my bed and jogged to my door. There he stood, once well put together for a day at work but transformed into a total mess with his shirt wrinkly, untucked and unbuttoned, his hair in all directions and face looking gruff.

"Stop freaking out," I said right away.

"You just get back from rehab for drug use and you're locking your door? I don't think so."

I rolled my eyes. "I was on the phone."

"Show me your nose."

"Dad," I urged.

"Now."

I huffed and tilted my head up, reaching up and pulling my nose in the pig way so he could see up my nostrils. I stood like that for longer than necessary.

"I think you're done," I grumbled and lowered my head.

He pointed a finger in my face. "Don't lock this door."

"Fine, whatever," I stepped back into my room and closed the door on him. But I didn't lock it - God forbid. I ran back to my bed and picked up my phone, hoping Addie didn't end the call. "Addie, you there?"

"I'm so sorry, I'm so, so sorry," she wasn't crying, so that was a good thing. But she still sounded worried.

"You have nothing to be sorry about, don't apologize."

"I freaked out on you."

"And that's okay," I chuckled.

She sighed and I didn't say anything. I knew she wanted to speak so I just let her think. I didn't need an explanation - she was secretive and introverted, and that was okay.

"I don't like loud, um... noises," she almost whispered. "I know it's weird but-"

"No it's not," I interrupted her.

"Harry, you-"

"I don't like seatbelt's; ever since I was a kid and I pinched my finger in one, they've scared me to death. I also don't like gummy worms because I tried to swallow one whole when I was twelve and my aunt had to perform the Heimlich. Also, I never go near M&M's because I stuffed one up my nose once and it got stuck and I'm scared I'll be tempted to do it again," I breathed out deeply and waited for her response to my short story.

"Well," she tried not to laugh - I so badly wanted to hear her giggle.

"My fears are weird; yours are not."

She hummed to herself quietly. "Thanks, Harry." 

I smiled, remembering something I'd let slip earlier. Something I'd thought of a couple days before and decided not to say out loud for fear of making her uncomfortable, but she didn't mention anything after I said it on the phone.

"No problem," I smiled.

"I-uh, I think I should get going. I have to get to sleep early."

"Alright, so I'll see you tomorrow."

"See you tomorrow. Goodnight, Harry."

I smirked.  _Here it goes._  "Goodnight, Addie Baby."

I hung up before she could say anything, smirking to myself yet blushing like an idiot.


	12. Adelaine

Bee and I practiced almost every single day after school. Unless I had to work, we were at her house or at the dance studio going over her audition. Personally, I didn't see why she was never given a spot on the team - she was a great dancer. I was positive that with my help, she'd be dancing with us.

In the two weeks we got together, we became super close. I was slowly starting to become less of a nervous wreck around her. She was my friend - a real friend - who I was talking to about a lot of things. Not everything, but a lot. Like Harry.

Harry walked me to every class even if they were far away from his own. He waited every time I'd be practicing with Bee to drive me "home" from school or Bee's house - he offered to drive me there was Bee had a car and insisted that I'd be ok with her. He urged me to call him whenever I could just to talk. Harry was Harry and I was slowly becoming smitten. More and more everyday.

And Addie Baby. Addie Baby. Everyday it's Addie Baby.

"Fūck this shīt," Bee dropped to her bum and huffed, staring up at the ceiling. We were in her (finished) basement, furniture pushed aside and tiring ourselves out on the hardwood floor.

"You can do it," I rolled my eyes.

"Lainey," she groaned. "You just watched me fail seventeen times."

"No," I walked forward forward and crouched down beside her. "I watched you try seventeen times."

"Can't we just-"

"We're not changing it so stop asking. Take a deep breath... now stand up and do it again."

She rolled her eyes but didn't put up a fight. We stood up, I went to the stereo and Bee stayed where she was. I started the song and Bee closed her eyes momentarily as I walked to stand across the room from her.

"You got this," I nodded. She positioned herself and shook out her nerves. "Five, six, seven, and!"

There she went. Pump... pump... spin, spin, spin, spin, pump... pu- stumble, trip, regain posture, glare at Lainey.

"It's too, fast," she seethed.

"Your posture's just wrong. After you finish your last pirouette you're dropping too much; your shoulders are hunching and you're bending your supporting leg too much. A pirouette to a pump isn't laid back. You need to keep your strength. Watch."

We switched spots, but she was the only one sulking as she walked. I prepared and counted in my head. It was my turn. Pump... pump... spin, spin, spin, spin, pump... pump... spin, spin, tilt jump, land in lunge en croix.

I looked up at Bee when I was done and her jaw was locked and her arms were crossed.

"I hate you," she scowled.

"Just try it. I know it's fast but you've got everything else down to a T. And this is like the last part. Come on, stop scowling and nail this."

She just stood there staring at me, a small smile growing on her lips.

"What?" I stepped back a bit, self-conscious.

"You're an amazing person."

I furrowed my eyebrows. "Sorry?"

"I mean it!" She smiled. "Lainey, you're, like, a motivational speaker or something. And you just have this energy that makes everyone around you so... happy. I mean we've only known each other for, like, a month and I'm already so comforted and inspired by you."

I smiled sheepishly and played with my fingers, looking down at them as well.

"Your parents must be really proud."

And the glow from her compliments immediately faded and was replaced with pain from a gaping hole forming in my chest. I didn't know if my parents would've been proud of me. I'd never know if I was living life like they wanted me to. I'd never know if they'd have approved the decisions I made. I'd never know.

"Well I... I guess, I... don't know," I shrugged and ignored the burn in my eyes and nose.

"They are; I would be."

"Thanks," I smiled tightly.

"I wanna meet them soon! I know they're probably busy at their firm, but still!"

I nodded quickly, wanting to stop talking about it as soon as possible. "Yeah, maybe one day. Come do this step before Harry gets here."

She smiled mischievously and edged closer to me. "Harry, Harry, Harry. Everything is Harry with you."

"Shut up and dance," I huffed.

"This woman is my destiny," Bee sang.

"Seriously, he'll be here in five minutes. Stop stalling, I know you can do it."

She sighed and dropped her grin. "Fine, but we're taking it out if I don't get it."

"You'll get it, just remember what I said," I crouched down by the front wall and faced her as she quickly restarted the song, ran to the middle of the room and prepared. I saw her murmur to herself for a moment but then she looked at me and nodded. "Five, six, seven, eight."

Pump... pump... spin, spin, spin, spin, pump... pump... spin, spin, tilt and land.

"Yes!" I jumped up and cheered. "I told you! I knew it!"

"I did it! I actually did it!" Bee jumped up and down.

"What did you do? I missed it."

At the bottom of the stairs, Harry stood in black Adidas sweats and a light grey sweater. His face was somewhat red and his hair was pushed back with my black band. He had soccer practice but came to pick me up.

"Harry, oh my god!" Bee ran over to him and grabbed his shoulders. "Lainey has magical powers! She literally said like two sentences and now I kick the one step's āss and I'm gonna get a spot on the team."

Harry looked up at me and I blushed. "You have magical powers?"

I shrugged. "Bee's just a better dancer than she gives herself credit for."

Bee raised an eyebrow at me and then turned to fake whisper to Harry. "I don't think she wants us to know she's magic."

Harry joined in as I rolled my eyes and walked over to the bag of clothes I brought. "Act cool."

I walked back over to them with my bag on my shoulder as they tried to be smooth. I gave them both a look.

"I think she's on to us," Harry said.

Bee nodded. "We should've just left."

"I'm leaving now," I sang.

"Nooo Lainey don't leave," Bee whined.

"Goodbye, Beatrice," I chuckled.

Harry held his arm out and I shyly walked into his side for him to drape it over my shoulders. He smiled down at me quickly before turning to Bee and bidding her a goodbye.

"I'll come up with you," Bee ushered us to and up the stairs.

As we walked through the large, spacious luxurious main floor, Bee's mother came out of the large, spacious, luxurious kitchen.

"Leaving already, Lainey?" She frowned. "I was just about to start dinner." I was almost completely sure that Bee had expressed her obvious concern over my eating habits. Since I'd started helping her, I'd been almost forced to stay for dinner or take food home on several occasions.

"Thanks, Mrs. Young, but I should really get home," I smiled apologetically.

"Are you sure? I'll have enough for you and Harry both."

I nodded as Harry backed me up. "Nah, that's ok Missy. I've eaten, anyway."

She shrugged. "Alright, if you say so."

"Thank you, though," I assured her as Harry led me to the front door to put on our shoes.

"Absolutely," Mrs. Young smiled. "So when are auditions?"

"Tomorrow!" Bee jumped and clapped her hands. "Do you wanna come, mom? It's at three."

"I-I'm sorry, Sweetheart. I can't make it."

The defeated frown and hunch I'd witnessed on Bee so many times before broke my heart. Her mother always seemed interested and happy to know what Bee was up to, but as soon as she had to participate in something she was busy couldn't make it. It crushed Bee - who just wanted a little support.

"Well I'll go!" Harry raised his hand. "I'll be your mom."

Bee's eyes visibly lit up and she stood a bit taller. My heart swooned over the boy next to me.

"Harry, darling, that's so sweet of you," Mrs. Young gushed. "Make sure you cheer loud for my Beatrice."

"I will, right in the judges' faces," he nudged me and winked, making me blush.

"Have a good night, you two," Mrs. Young waved before making her way back to the kitchen. We were halfway out the door.

"No funny business, you two," Bee whispered suggestively with a wink before closing the door.

Harry looked at me with a smirk and I could barely meet his eyes.

"Ready to go?" He chuckled.

I nodded. "Yeah."

The whole ride, I kept wishing I'd just have the guts to tell him where I really lived. What was the worst that could happen?

He could judge you. Hard. And then not want anything to do with you while you'd continue crushing on him. Hard.

Oh, yeah. Right.

So I let him drop me off at my old home like every other day. I smiled when he smiled; my heart fluttered when he waved; and I melted when he waited until I was through the gate.

Then fifty minutes later, I was actually home. John wasn't in the living room so I let out a breath and made my way to the kitchen to get some water. I stood at the sink as I drank, looking out the window to the backyard.

Everything was grey - the grass, the bushes, the one tree. The chain gate was falling apart. I actually escaped through it when I started living there. I was devastated that I had to stay with him, so I tried to run away. Clearly, it didn't work.

I knew he was probably in his room falling asleep after working all day, so I made my way upstairs. He wasn't asleep, because I couldn't hear snoring, so I tiptoed to his door and gently pushed it open.

He was lying on his bed in just a grey t-shirt and black boxers. His eyes were pinched closed and his fingers were rubbing his temples. He wasn't in a good mood, but I needed to tell him I'd be home late the next day.

"Uh, John?" My throat tightened and he didn't answer. "I'm gonna be kind of-"

"Not now, I'm fūcking tired," he groaned.

"But I-"

"I don't care, Lainey. Get out."

I nodded and hung my head, turning to walk into my room and turn in for the night.


	13. Adelaine

"John, I'm coming hom-"

"I just took a fūcking hit, kid, leave me alone," he was sitting on the couch with his head thrown back and sniffling like no tomorrow.

"I'm trying to tell you something!"

He sat up and narrowed his fiery eyes at me. "You shut your goddāmn mouth and get your ass out of my house."

"I won't be ho-"

"Out!"

I huffed and kept my wide, stinging eyes on the ceiling as I turned and walked out of the room. He wouldn't let me tell him I'd be late, so I was just going to have to suffer the consequences of tardiness at the Fevrole household.

I basically ran out of the house and out of the neighbourhood, desperate to get away from him and everything he dragged into my life. I reminded myself that I'd be at school soon with my friends... and Harry.

Harry made me feel safe. He was like protection even though he had no idea why I'd feel like that - or that I did at all. When I was around him, John and my house and my miserable life always disappeared from my mind. He was a breath of fresh air that I constantly craved. He was like a drug and I was slowly but surely becoming an addict.

~ ~ ~ ~

"Alright, are you ready?" Mrs. McKidd smiled at me as she came out of the dance studio. I had already changed and was waiting for her - as per her request - as she gathered all her things.

I nodded. "Yep."

"Let's go then! I'm so excited," she began to lead me down the hallway toward the school's theatre. "Don't be nervous, Lainey. Those dancers are working their butts off to impress you. They've seen how talented you are and they respect you. There won't be any funny business."

I nodded and breathed out shakily. I just didn't want anyone to think of me as some stuck-up, conceited girl that demanded a higher standing at a school she had just started. Because that was not what happened at all.

As we rounded the corner, I saw a few dancers standing around talking to each other, but then I saw Harry leaning against a wall of lockers. When he saw me, he pushed himself up and jogged over.

"I'll see you inside, Lainey," Mrs. McKidd said. "Five minutes."

I nodded at her and turned back to Harry. He was smirking at me.

"What?" I said.

"You've been nervous all day," he chuckled. "You weren't listening to me or anyone in French; you really did a terrible job of comforting Bee at lunch because you're freaking out more than she is; you're standing here shaking-"

"I'm not shaking," I cut him off.

"Look at your hands."

"I don't have to because I know they're not shaking," I moved them behind my back and made fists. I knew they were shaking.

He rolled his eyes and nodded his head. "Let's go, Judge Judy."

I frowned at him. "Who's that?"

"You don't know who Judge Judy is?"

I shook my head.

He widened his eyes. "We've got some TV to watch."

He led me into the theatre like a gentleman and he took a seat a few rows behind where me, Mrs. McKidd and Mrs. Riley were sitting. I was given a pen and paper to write notes regarding what the auditioning dancer could improve on and what they would bring to the team. As a trio, we were going to deduct marks off of one hundred like a real competition for each dancer. I thought it was a bit much, but I had to do it - I needed the money.

The first few try-outs I recognized as people from my class. I thoroughly enjoyed watching them express themselves in their own styles. The hip-hopper in my class, Brandon, even winked at me at the end of his performance to a song called Fine China. I hadn't heard of it, but it wasn't difficult to catch on to what the artist was saying. As soon as he did it and pointed at me, I heard a huff and a cough come from behind me. Brandon's actions had caught me off guard, but I laughed it off because of Harry's clear jealousy.

We had gone through seventeen auditions - mostly good ones - when my eyes caught a glimpse of the next dancer on our master list.

Beatrice Young ~ Endangered Species

She slowly strutted onstage after Mrs. McKidd called her name. She looked fantastic and totally ready to work that stage.

I am and endangered species...

How Bee was never offered a spot on the team was beyond me. As I practiced with her, I saw how talented she was. She was most definitely gifted. As she made her way through that dance, she owned the stage like she wasn't willing to ever give it up. Her technique, her flexibility, her musicality and her performance all came together in a strong and beautiful union. Halfway through, neither Mrs. McKidd nor Mrs. Riley had deducted any marks. And I hadn't either. But she wasn't done yet.

When she prepared for the turn - the one step she always complained about, the one she hadn't actually done until the night before - I stopped breathing and crossed my fingers.

Pump... pump... spin, spin, spin, spin, pump... pump... spin, spin, jump and land.

"Ye-!" I gasped, almost jumping out of my seat before remembering my place and shutting my mouth. She nailed it!

"Work it, Smoochie!"

I jumped and turned around to see a standing Harry with his hands around his mouth to amplify his voice. I furrowed my eyebrows.

"What?" I mouthed under the music.

He winked and mouthed 'later' as he sat back down. When I turned back to the stage, Bee was still dancing and biting her lip to stop from laughing - I assumed. She recovered quickly, though, and finished her dance the way she started it. With power and skill.

When she finished a hit her pose, I wanted to stand up and cheer as loud as I could. But I just gave her a proud nod and a thumbs up; I left the cheering to Harry.

Bee bowed with a huge smile on her face and my heart warmed. She looked so proud of herself, and she had every right to be.

"She's improved since I last saw her dance," Mrs. McKidd whispered to Mrs. Riley and I.

"She's always been a good dancer, but I think she's finally earned a spot. What do you think Lainey?"

I turned to Mrs. Riley and nodded. "She's strong. I think she'd be amazing."

"She's a hard worker, too," Mrs. McKidd added.

The rest of the auditions went smoothly. Scarsdale High had an uber amount of talent. I had no idea how we were going to have a final list by the next week. It seemed impossible.

"Thank you, everyone, for auditioning today," Mrs. McKidd stood in front of the stage where all the dancers were sitting. "You have all amazed us with your skills. We will have a finalized list of the twenty dancers offered a spot on the team a week from today. Do either of you have anything to add?" She turned around to look at me and Mrs. Riley sitting at our makeshift judges' table.

"Just that you should all be very proud of yourselves," Mrs. Riley smiled. "Lainey?"

I took a deep breath. "Um... just, good job. I really enjoyed watching all of you dance."

"Alright, well you guys can get going, relax," Mrs. McKidd laughed.

All the dancers smiled and excitedly ran off the stage and to anyone that had come to support them. Bee ran right to a waiting Harry and gave him a big hug. I smiled at the sight.

"Alright," Mrs. McKidd stood in front of the table. "Are you two ready to make some decisions?"

"Lainey!" I jumped and turned. Bee was waving me over to her and Harry.

"Just... um, can you give me a minute?" I stammered. Mrs. McKidd smiled and told me to go ahead.

I pushed my chair out and quietly rushed over to them. I went to Bee first and she hugged me tight. Out of habit, I removed myself from the embrace hastily and just smiled at her warmly.

"You did amazing," I said.

"I feel really, really good about it," she beamed. "I can't thank you enough. Honestly, Lainey, you're amazing. I owe you."

I waved her off. "You don't, it was my pleasure."

"Please let me do something! I can take you out for a mani/pedi, or I can make you a pie, or you and your parents can come over for dinner. Let me do something."

I tensed at the mention of my parents. "It's fine, Bee."

"But I-"

"Give up, Bee, she won't agree to anything," Harry chuckled, winking at me. I blushed and looked down at my feet.

"The offer still stands," Bee said.

"So am I driving you home?" Harry asked. I thought he was talking to Bee until I looked up and right into his eyes.

"Uh, I a-actually have to stay and figure some stuff out with the teachers," I pointed behind me.

"Well I can wait, when do you think you'll be done?"

I shook my head. "No, no, it'll be a while. Mrs. McKidd said at least until six-thirty."

"I'll wait," he nodded.

"Harry that's two hours," I urged. "I'll be fine, don't wait for me."

"It's dark early, Addie. You're not walking home," he spoke sternly. But it was Harry, so I wasn't scared; I wanted to fight back.

"I will walk if I want to," I narrowed my eyes.

"I'm uh..." Bee cut in. "I'm gonna go stand over there."

Harry breathed out and waited until Bee walked away. "Please just let me drive you."

"Why are you fighting me on this?" I whispered.

He sighed and stepped closer. "I don't want you to walk alone in the-"

"I'm a lot braver than you think I am." Living in Meadowbrook Park made me fearless toward random people on the street.

"I..." he stepped closer again. "I know, Addie, I just... It would make me feel better."

He moved closer until he was right in front of me, his nose almost touching mine. It was the closest we'd ever been, and I wanted more. I was getting distracted by his eyes and his lips and his fingers that occasionally reached forward and brushed my own by our sides. My heart sped up as he looked down at my lips, and I sensed him coming closer.

He was going to kiss me.

"Uh guys?" We jumped apart and I stared wide-eyed at Bee beside us. "You're in the school theatre with two teachers and a few very interested students."

I looked around and realized how right she was. I avoided eye contact but nodded in thanks as she walked away again.

"Harry," I whispered. "I've faced worse conditions on my walks home."

He sighed, over dramatically, and rolled his eyes. "Vous savez que je vous déteste, euh?" (You know I hate you, right?) He raised his eyebrows.

I shook my head. "Oui, je sais." (Yeah, I know.)

He grabbed my hands and held them to his chest. "Vous pouvez m'appeler si vous changez d'avis." (You can call me if you change your mind.)

"Avec quoi?" (With what?) I laughed. "Mon voix?" (My voice?)

He chuckled. "I'm serious."

"So am I; I'll be fine," I nodded.

"Alright then," he squeezed my hands before letting them fall back beside me. He surprised my by leaning forward and pressing his lips against my cheek. "Bye, Addie Baby."

I blushed and watched with wide eyes as he smirked and walked away before I could say anything. Then he and Bee were gone, and Mrs. Riley and Mrs. McKidd were calling me back to them.

It was seven-fifteen when we finally finished what we had to do. Basically, we made profiles for each of the dancers and put them in piles named 'Yes,' 'No,' or 'To Be Considered.' We discussed a lot as we made these decisions even though we were getting together again to cement our choices the following week. I didn't mind, though, because Bee was a for sure yes. She was going to be ecstatic.

After that, we shared our routine ideas; songs, choreography and such. We even got up onstage and shared what we had choreographed. It was fun dancing and coming up with ideas with them.

I was honoured to have had them approve my ideas. They told me they were excited for me to start - I was excited too.

"Have a safe trip home, hun," Mrs. McKidd smiled.

"You too, and thanks again for this opportunity."

She nodded. "Of course. Now go before it's pitch black."

I smiled and quickly made my way out of the theatre and toward the exit, mentally going over what was in my locker in case I needed to grab something before I left. I was sure I had everything in my bag to I continued walking until I was outside.

"See, I had gone home, taken a shower, did some homework, but then I realized that I never explained Judge Judy or 'Work it, Smoochie,' so I just had to come back."

Harry was standing at the curb in front of the school doors beside his car. He looked all smug, like he knew I wouldn't be able to deny him a ride home since he was right in front of me. I wish I could've, though.

"You never give up, do you?" I shook my head.

"Not when it comes to you," he smiled and opened the passenger door for me.

I slipped inside and held my bag tightly only lap thinking about what was going to happen with I got home.

Harry jumped into the driver's seat and happily turned the car on. He spoke as he pulled away from the school. "So, Judge Judy..."

~ ~ ~ ~

I had stood on my front porch for a good twenty minutes debating whether or not I should go inside. I could see the clock in the living room: it was almost nine. If i was going to go in, I was just making my punishment worse by continuing to stand there.

I took a deep breath and pushed the front door open. I was being as quiet as I possibly could with my actions. There was a chance he had fallen asleep after work and I definitely didn't want to wake him.

I tip-toed up the stairs and my chest got lighter with every step I took. Whenever I was in trouble, he'd usually wait for me downstairs. He had to be asleep.

I made it upstairs with no issues and I softly smiled to myself. In the dark, I felt for my bedroom door and when I found it, I slipped inside and closed it behind me, so when I turned the light on, it wouldn't shin into his room.

I felt for the switch and illuminated the space when I found it. When I could see, I jumped back into the door and felt like vomiting.

"Good evening, Lainey."

I didn't like when he was in my room. Memories of the times he'd make me sit on his lap or the times he'd touch my thighs took over my mind as I stared at him standing in front of me. He was angry - that much was more than obvious.

"Where have you been?" He grumbled.

"At school."

"So they're teaching until nine o'clock now?"

I shook my head nervously at his any tone. "N-No, no."

"Then what the hell took you so long?"

"I-I was, I was helping out w-with auditions for the dance team."

He locked his jaw and took a step closer. "Dance team, huh?"

I nodded, feeling the sting of tears.

He reached forward in a flash and harshly wrapped a good amount of hair around his fist, making me cry out in pain. "And why didn't I know about this?"

My mouth opened to speak but all that came out was a sob from the ever-growing pull on my hair.

"Answer me!"

"I tried!" I screamed. "I tried to tell you last night and this morning but you sent me away."

"So it's my fault then?" He harshly pulled me closer to his face. I could smell the alcohol seeping through his pores.

"No!"

"Then what are you saying?"

"I-... You just didn't give me the chance to-"

"Try again!" He roared, slamming my head against the door.

"I'm sorry! I'm sorry, it's my fault!" I yelled, my voice cracking in fear.

"You're so ungrateful," he spat. "For everything I do for you, you're so ungrateful."

"I'm very grateful, I appre-"

"Do not talk back to me!"

"I'm sorry!"

In a flash I was turned around and he harshly pushed me against the door. I managed to turn my head so as to avoid possibly breaking my nose, my cheek suffering the force instead. I felt rim rip my bag off of me as I struggled against him.

"John please!" I cried.

He slammed me against the door again and grabbed the hem of my shirt.

"No! No! I'm sorry, I don't wanna go downstairs, please! Please! Anything else, John, please!"

He ignored me as he pulled my shirt over my head. He wrapped his arms around my waist and yanked open the button of my jeans. I planted my feet on the door to try and stop him. I also thought if I pushed hard enough, I could knock the drunk over.

He took a few steps back so I couldn't reach the door anymore and somehow managed to keep me off the floor while completely removing my jeans.

"I won't go! I won't go!" I tried my hardest to escape his grip, not worrying about the fact that I was only in my bra and underwear, it wasn't the first time I was in that exact situation.

My heart was pounding as the only thing I could think of was the basement. I didn't want to go. I wouldn't go.

He'd gotten me down the first set of stairs when the panic had really set in. I could see the basement door.

"Anything else! I'll do anything else please don't make me go down there!"

"Shut up, Lainey," he mumbled.

We approached the door and he used my body to swing it open. I immediately placed my feet on either side of the entrance so he couldn't move any further.

"Do you want me to make this worse for you?"

"No, please! Please don-"

"Get your fūcking feet off the wall!" He swung my upper body so my head hit the wall beside us.

I immediately went lightheaded and my body went weak. Without an issue from me, he descended down the basement stairs. I was almost limp but whimpering protests in his arms as he walked us further and further into the darkness.

I was never afraid of the dark; I was afraid of what lurked within it. The furnace made noises all throughout the night; spiders tickled my skin (hence the lack of clothing - he wanted me to suffer); rats ran around me; and something in the walls made eerie sounds.

The basement was my punishment for the really bad things - most of which he had never pointed out to me until I had unknowingly misbehaved as such. He fed off of my fear and made me suffer.

He carried me over to the same thick pipe he always did and let my body fall to the ground. I instantly clung to his leg.

"I'm begging you. I'll be good."

"Give me your arm," he ignored me.

"Please, John," I sobbed. "Anything else."

He sighed heavily before I felt him grab my left arm. In seconds, rope secured me to the pipe and John was on his way up the stairs.

"John! Please!"

I jumped when the door slammed shut. He was gone and I was stuck.

As usual, I prayed. I prayed - to my parents - that the night would pass quickly. That spiders wouldn't crawl up my leg again. That a rat wouldn't bite at my skin again. That my uncle wouldn't forget about me and go to work without untying me again.

I prayed that maybe that time I'd get some sleep and then John would come down, untie me and leave the rope for whenever I'd be back - as usual. I prayed that I'd forget about it all when I got to school and saw Bee and Harry.

Harry.

All I could think about then was Harry. That night, the noises and tickles and bites kept me awake, but I didn't scream like I usually did. I just thought about Harry.


	14. Harry

"And then Bee had to fūcking jump in and stop me," I turned to her with a playful scowl.

She rolled her eyes. "People were staring."

"Let them watch," I shrugged. "But seriously, I was so close. And she was all for it."

"Oh my God, relax. It won't be your last opportunity," Bee put on her sunglasses - even though we were inside - and leaned against the wall we were standing at.

We were around the back entrance of the school waiting for the bell and Addie. She usually met us before we went to class. I'd have preferred if she'd let me pick her up in the mornings and drive her to school. But she always refused and said she felt bad enough that I drove her home everyday. I didn't mind, but she did. So I didn't push her. Addie wasn't the kind of person you pushed.

I knew she'd been through something terrible. She was nervous, shaky, frightened. All the time. There was something, but it wasn't any of my business. And if she wanted to tell me then she'd do it on her own whenever she saw fit. Addie wasn't the kind of person you pushed.

"She's late," Bee leaned her head against the wall behind her.

I took my phone out of my pocket. It was eight. "She's not late," but she kind of was.

"Maybe she's not coming in today," Jimmy yawned.

"She is, she would've told me if she wasn't."

"She doesn't have to tell you, Harry," she was wearing sunglasses but I knew Bee rolled her eyes just by her tone.

"She talks to me, Bee, she lets me know what's going on," I said.

"I'm not doubting that, I'm just saying," she shrugged.

"Well don't just say."

"Guys," Andy stood up from the wall.

"Why are you picking a fight?" Bee asked.

"I'm not!"

"Yes you are!"

"Guys," Jimmy put his hand on my shoulder.

"Lainey isn't obligated to tell you everything."

"I think I know that, Beatrice, thanks."

"Guys!" Jimmy and Andy exclaimed, making me finally look over at them.

"What?" I snapped.

"Oh my God," Bee whispered.

"What?" I said softer, looking back at her, but she was looking at the entrance.

I furrowed my eyebrows at her concerned expression, her sunglasses having been pushed up on her head. When I followed her gaze, I saw a small hooded figure slowly walking into the building.

They were hunched over and walking at the slowest speed possible. Their feet barely lifted off the ground for each step they took. Their black sweatpants dragged against the ground, hanging loosely off their body. Their grey hoodie went down to the middle of their thighs and even though their hands were stuffed in the front pocket, it was obvious the sleeves ended well past their fingers.

They didn't look well, their face wasn't visible but that much was obvious. Their visibly tense shoulders and the shake in the rest of their body gave it away. I had a feeling I knew who it was, but I didn't want to believe it.

"Lainey?"

She looked up at Bee's voice and cowered back at the same time. She was a scary pale, with dark circles under her eyes. Something happened. Something bad happened.

"Addie," I whispered, making my way toward her.

I took all of three steps before Bee was in front of me keeping me from moving further. "Let me do this."

I stared at her like she was crazy. "Excuse me?"

"Look at her face right now."

I was confused by what she meant until I looked back at Addie and saw how wide and scared her eyes were. And they were on me. The internal pain that look gave me couldn't be described.

"No," I shook my head. "No I didn't... I didn't do anyth-"

"I know you didn't," Bee interrupted me.

"She's scared of me."

"She's not scared of you, she's just scared. And you know what she's like when she's scared."

"Yeah but just because I'm a guy doesn't mean I can't try to help her. She's fine with me."

"You and I both know this is different. If you go over there you'll freak out and that'll freak her out. She needs to stay calm."

I looked down at her, angered. "I am calm."

She huffed. "Stay here."

She turned and started to walk. When I tried to follow her, someone - either Andy or Jimmy - pulled me back.

"Bee," I urged.

She continued to slowly walk to a trembling Addie whose eyes were still on me.

"Bee!"

I regretted yelling as soon as Addie flinched. She covered her face with her sleeve-covered hands. Bee angrily turned around.

"Keep your fūcking voice down," she seethed. I locked my jaw and stopped myself from saying anything else, knowing I would've used a loud tone of voice.

I watched Bee creep over to Addie with a racing heart. I was dying to help her, but Beatrice was right: I wouldn't have been calm. I would've demanded to know what happened.

Bee finally reached her but Addie's trembling hands continued to cover her face. I saw Bee's lips move slowly as her hands continuously rose up toward Addie's. She jumped when Beatrice tried to gently pull them away, but with a few more encouraging words, she shyly revealed her tearstained face.

My heart broke and I tried to take a step forward again but whoever was holding me wouldn't have it. Bee reached forward and let her hands hover over Addie's shoulders. Her lips moved again and when Addie nodded, she pulled her into a gentle hug.

When they pulled back, I noticed Addie's nervous eyes constantly flick over to me. She whispered something and Bee and turned to look at me quickly. She hugged her one more time before encouraging her to make her way down the hall and to the stairwell.

"What happened?" I asked as soon as Bee was with us again.

"I don't know," she was so nonchalant.

"What. Happened?" I said, angrier.

"I don't know, Harry. I didn't ask her."

"She comes in like that and you don't ask her what happened?"

"This is why I didn't let you go over there. You need to calm down."

"Where is she going right now?"

Bee rolled her eyes. "Her locker, and then I'm meeting her in class."

I nodded. "Just... text me if she needs anything."

"Relax, Harry."

"Just do it."

"Okay," she widened her eyes in exasperation and held her hands up in surrender.

I huffed one last time before turning just as the bell rang. With five minutes to get to class, I strolled down the hallway, greeting students and teachers on my way. I made it early for once but my mind hadn't caught up with me yet. Mentally, I was still at the school doors observing a very frightened girl who appeared to have not slept a wink the night before.

She looked so fragile and helpless. I was scared she was going to break when Bee hugged her. And then she just walked off by herself, which made me nervous. I didn't feel like she should've been by herself.

I was so focused on worrying about Addie that I hadn't noticed the final bell had rung and everyone was standing up for the national anthem. As I scrambled to my feet, I risked a glance at my teacher. He was giving me a hard glare while shaking his head. Scarsdale High was very patriotic - at least, the teachers were.

I stood, my mind thinking about other things as the cymbals and horns and flutes all meshed together for the Star Spangled Banner. I looked around at everyone else that seemed to either be falling asleep or downing a cup of coffee to keep them awake.

When it finished, we all fell back into our seats and Mr. Kitrington made his way to the front. I tuned out his speech about variables and exponents and the like as I tiredly pulled out my books.

I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket and - not giving one shīt about our lesson - I sneakily pulled it out and laid it on my thigh. I kept my head up but my eyes down as I unlocked it, that way Kitrington wouldn't see out the corner of his eye.

I was surprised it was Bee for two reasons: 1) I'd just seen her five minutes earlier, and 2) she never texted in class. My mind immediately went to Addie and worst case scenarios. She could've gotten hurt; she could've freaked out; she could've needed someone. She could've needed me.

I can't find Lainey

I stood up immediately and interrupted the lesson.

"I need to go to the bathroom," I demanded.

"At the start of my lesson?" Kitrington raised an eyebrow.

"I'll get the notes from someone later, I just really need to go," I started weaving through the tables toward the door.

"Styles, get back to your seat," Kitrington sighed.

"I have to go."

"Styles!"

"I have to go, it's an emergency," and I was out the door.

I checked to see if I had more messages about where to go but there were none, so I started nervously making my way to Bee and Addie's class. I pushed the stairwell door open and the end of the hall and started sprinting down the stairs to the first floor.

"Harry, oh my God," Bee happened to be making her way up to my class I assumed.

"What happened?"

"I-I got to class but she wasn't there and I knew I wouldn't have beat her so I asked Alex if he'd seen her and he said she went in and then ran out like two seconds later," she breathed heavily, she must've been running.

"Does he know why she left?"

She coughed once. "He said some of the guys were being loud and she ran out as they were, like, yelling over something. He didn't see which way she went but I checked all the bathrooms down here until the national anthem came on and Mrs. Riley made me stop and stand." I noticed she still had her bag.

"Has she seen her?" My heart was racing.

"I asked, she said no," she shook her head. "She's not okay, Harry."

"I know," I ran my hand down my face.

"What if she just went home?"

"No, I don't think she'd leave. She's scared. She's here somewhere - isolated so nothing else can scare her."

"Should we get Andy and Jim?"

"No, we don't need everyone finding out. We'll text them if we still can't find her later."

"Should we split up?"

"Yeah, you take the third floor, I'll take the second. Keep your phone handy."

"Wait, what if she's in the girls' bathrooms?"

I shrugged. "I don't give a shīt." And I didn't. The teachers could scold me all they wanted - I wasn't going to let gender get in the way of finding her.

I ran back up the stairs and into the hallway. I hurried into the washrooms right by the doors - the boys' and girls' - but came up empty handed even after throwing myself into all the stalls. Luckily, no one was actually using any of them.

There was one more pair of washrooms on the other side of the second floor, so I sprinted there, phone in hand and stomach in my throat. The male one was empty, but there were a few girls I knew doing their makeup in the female one. They were certainly surprised to see me.

"Have you guys seen Lainey Fevrole?" I asked urgently.

"Harry, what the fūck are you doing in here?" Tracy, one of the girls at the mirror, asked.

"Answer the question please," I pushed.

She rolled her eyes. "The new girl that always looks scared?"

I clenched my jaw in irritation at her description. "Have you seen her?"

"No, why?" She turned back to the mirror and made a funny face while putting lipstick or lipgloss on.

"Fūck," I ignored her question and ran out, remembering that Mrs. McKidd - who doubled as a business teacher - was teaching just down the hall. I sprinted to her room while avoiding being caught by Kitrington as I sped by my class.

I peeked through the narrow window on her door when I got there. She was in the middle of a lesson but that didn't stop me from knocking. I stepped back and brought my fingernails to my teeth as I waited.

"Hi, Harry," she may have been a bit irritated that I interrupted her. The sight of only her head poking out into the hallway angered me - she looked like she wasn't fully invested in what I had to say. Even though I hadn't started speaking yet.

"We can't find Ad- Lainey," I breathed.

To my satisfaction, she stepped out of the doorway and gently closed the door behind her. "What do you mean?"

I sighed, the hope of her knowing where Addie was disappearing. "She came in and she looked scared and then Bee told her to go to class but this guy said she ran off and now we can't find her."

"Well maybe she went home?" She said it like a question.

I shook my head. "No, she's too scared to... to walk all the way home the-the honking and the busses and-"

"Ok, ok, let me just get someone to cover my class and we'll figure this out."

I breathed out a sigh of relief and thanked her as she ran toward the business department staff room. My phone buzzed in my hand and I picked it up as soon as I saw Bee's name.

"Hey, did you find her?" I gushed.

"Yeah, I got her but I... shīt," she sighed.

"What? Where are you?"

"We're in the photocopier room on the third floor but she won't... I can't get her to stand up, she keeps falling."

"Just don't let her run again, I'll be right ther-"

"No, no, no, that's the problem, Harry," she started whispering. "She doesn't want you to see her like this."

"What, why?" I looked down the hall and saw Mrs. McKidd leading another teacher in my direction.

"She's really freaking out, she's exhausted, she can barely walk. I know you want to help but she panicked when I said I'd call you to come get her."

"She's afraid of me?" My heart broke.

"Jesus, no Harry, listen to what I'm saying," she said through clenched teeth.

"Ok, let's go," Mrs. McKidd stood in front of me after showing the other teacher inside.

"Bee, Mrs. McKidd is with me, can she come?" I asked.

"Yes, yes, can you put her on the phone?"

I didn't answer before handing the device over to a concerned McKidd.

"Bee?"

After a few seconds, her eyes widened and they landed on me.

"O-Ok, we're on our way," she hung up and handed me the phone. "We need to go."

I followed her when she jogged past me and down the hall.

"When we get there, you need to make sure she doesn't see you."

I bit my tongue so I wouldn't fight her on it. We continued until we were on the third floor and down the hall from the photocopier room. Bee was crouched down in front of the machine holding her hands out to something in front of her I couldn't see. It must've been Addie sitting behind the door.

"Bee?" Mrs. McKidd asked as we approached the door slowly.

Bee looked up with a desperate look on her face. When she saw me, though, her eyes hardened and she aggressively swung her arm around to tell me to move. I quickly pressed my back up against the wall beside the room and just listened as Mrs. McKidd went in.

"Lainey?" She said gently. "What's going on, Sweetheart?"

"He can't see me, he can't see me..."

"Who can't, Sweetie? Who are you talking about?"

"Please don't let him see me," Addie whimpered.

"No, we won't, Lainey. I promise," Bee said.

"Harry can't see."

"He won't."

"He'll hur-hurt me," she strained and my heartbeat picked up.

"What?" Bee gasped.

"He'll hurt- I don't want him to hurt me," she sobbed.

"Lainey," Bee said carefully. "Did Harry hurt you?"

"NO!" She yelled. "No, no, not Harry, he can't see."

"We need to get her home," Mrs. McKidd murmured.

"No, no, no, no, no!" Addie panicked, making it harder for me to stay put. "Not home, I can't go home, he can't see me."

"Lainey, take a deep breath," Bee intstructed. "Just breath and tell me what's wrong."

As Addie took deep breaths, I heard Bee and Mrs. McKidd whispering to each other. I couldn't make out any words, but I knew they were trying to figure out what to do.

"Bee?" Addie whimpered. "He can't see."

"Talk to me, Lainey."

Mrs. McKidd left the room to stand in front of me with a worried look on her face. "So we have a plan."

"Ok," I gestured for her to continue.

"Her and Bee are going to take the rest of the day off and go to Bee's house. Lainey doesn't want to go home so she'll probably stay for a while."

"Well why doesn't she want to go home, did- did her parents do this to her?"

"I don't know, Harry, she's talking to Bee about it right now," she almost snapped.

"I didn't do this; I didn't hurt her."

She shook her head and reached up to rub her temples. "I know, I know you didn't. I'm just upset that someone did. She's... she's in really bad shape."

"Do we call home?"

"No, you heard her when we mentioned home, right?"

I nodded. "Going with Bee is probably best."

"Mrs. McKidd?" Bee called. "I think it's time to go."

"Stay here," she whispered. "We'll take care of her. Just get back to class and go about your day. I'm sure Bee'll text you later."

I nodded before she went back inside the room. She said to go back to class, but I couldn't move. I needed to make sure they got her out alright. So I waited.

A few minutes went by without much sound before the three women emerged from the room. Bee and Mrs. McKidd were holding a seemingly limp Addie in between them, her bag and clothes hanging loosely off of her. I watched with a heavy heart as they took a broken Addie Baby away from me and down the stairs toward the main office.


	15. Adelaine

She knew. She knew everything. As I sat on her couch, she knew. As she boiled the water, she knew. As she added the chocolate powder, she knew. And every time she looked over at me to make sure I hadn't left or started nervously scratching at my skin, she knew.

Although I had been staring her down as she worked in the kitchen, I just couldn't make eye contact with her as she made her way over with two mugs in her hands. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw her hold one out for me, so I stopped fidgeting with the blanket she'd given me to blindly reach out and grab it.

She sat at my feet - I was sitting sideways on the couch - as I held the warm mug in both my hands and stared down at the sweet-smelling, light brown beverage that was inside.

Bee awkwardly cleared her throat, obviously having expected me to speak once she had sat down. "Do you not like hot chocolate? I can make something else if-"

"No," I interrupted. "I just haven't had it in a long time."

She slowly nodded her head. "Right."

"Yeah," I whispered. She was judging me. I could feel it. She didn't want me in her home but she felt bad.

"When did it... start?" She asked timidly.

I kept my head down. "The first time was when I was seven. He'd push me and pinch me all the time but one day that stopped satisfying him. So he hit me."

She breathed out deeply. "Lainey..." she trailed off. "So that one time you said you hit your wrist on the barre in dance, that was a lie?"

I nodded.

"A-And the time you said you were limping because you twisted your knee the wrong way?"

I nodded again.

"What about that week you only wore sweaters or turtlenecks at the beginning of the year?"

I sighed. "He grabbed me... my neck. I needed to cover the bruises."

She huffed and ran her hands down her face. "Why are you still there?"

"I'm not eighteen yet. And I don't have nearly enough money to live on my own."

"You don't have any other family you can stay with?"

I shook my head. "My father's parents were both dead by the time I was five and whoever's left in my mother's family lives in France."

She put her mug down on the coffee table in front of us and shuffled a bit closer. "Lainey."

Before she could say anything, I raised my own mug to my lips and took a small sip. Memories of Friday nights in front of the fireplace in the dead of winter crowded my mind with that one sip. I closed my eyes and let me head fall back, trying my hardest to remember every detail of both of their faces.

Every time I thought I had a clear image, it blurred. It always blurred. I didn't have any pictures of them to keep their memory alive. I had nothing but the little things that would remind me of how we'd spend time together.

I began to pray for the ability to remember what they looked like. To hear their voices inside my head. For a sign that they were watching over me.

"Lainey, listen to me," Bee interrupted my train of thought.

I sighed and lifted my head, looking at her expectantly.

"You need to get out of that house," she expressed her obvious concern.

"There's nowhere else for me to go, Bee. I've already accepted that."

"Adelaine," she said sternly. "He strips you and locks you in the basement overnight as a punishment."

I sat up. "You don't think I know that? You don't think when he comes down in the morning to untie me but ends up sitting and staring at me instead that I know I'm living in an unsafe environment? You don't think I know that leaving is in my best interest when I live next to drug dealers and prostitutes? Do you think that while some guy's holding a gūn to my head I'm thinking 'Wow, well at least I have a roof over my head at Uncle John's place'?

"I want to leave; I want that more than anything, believe me. But I have no money, no family, no plan. There is nothing I can do. The last time I tried leaving, I ended up sleeping outside for a week without getting any food. He said he could show me what it would be like to run away in the comfort of our own backyard. I... I don't know what else to say."

Her wide eyes were glued to me as I breathed deeply after my rant.

"You don't have to say anything," she whispered.

I nodded and held a trembling hand up in front of my mouth. My face twisted and my eyes squeezed closed.

"Oh, Lainey, come here," I felt Bee move closer and grab my shoulders to pull me in for a hug. After a few seconds, she pulled back abruptly. "Sorry, I know you don't like-"

"No, it's fine," I immediately reached forward and hugged her again. "Thank you for caring," I weeped.

She tutted. "Of course I care, you're my friend. Actually you're starting to feel like a sister."

I lifted my head. "Really?"

"Really. Listen, if you need anything, ever, just let me know. I'm here for you."

I sniffled and sat back up. "There's one thing."

She nodded and squeezed my shoulder.

"Please don't tell Harry."

She closed her eyes and let her head fall forward. "Lainey-"

"I know he's your best friend but we're... well we're just... on a good path right now and I'll tell him eventually, I swear. I just can't do it now. Please Bee."

She looked at me and bit her lip in thought. "Under one condition."

I nodded.

"You call him when school's over and let him know you're ok. He's been texting and calling me nonstop since we left," she reached behind her and grabbed her phone out of her pocket and held it up to show me.

I sighed. "Ok."

"Thank you. Now we have a lot to talk about," she raised her eyebrows.

I nodded. "Yeah, we do."

~ ~ ~ ~

Make sure she eats

Even if she says she's not hungry

Did you end up taking her home or to your place?

Did you get there alright?

I'm gonna call you

Can you answer your phone please?

Beatrice just let me know if she's ok

Do you know who did it to her?

Did you get her to eat?

I'm calling you again

Bee

If you have strawberry yogurt she'll probably have that

If she doesn't wanna talk then ask her to call me when she gets home

Is she staying over at your place?

If she is then I can pick up food or something and drop it off

Or did you take her home?

Bee

Bee please

Beatrice seriously

My heart was beating erratically as I read the text messages he sent. Of course, Bee had to show me how to access them since I had never used an iPhone before.

School had just finished and even more messages were popping up on the screen. I figured calling him at that moment would be a good idea.

"Bee, how do I go back to make a call?"

She jogged over to the couch from the kitchen and showed me how to do it - actually, she just did it for me. I pressed the phone to my ear as she went back to the food she was making. To calm my nerves, I decided to count the amount of times the phone rang, but it didn't get to a very high number.

"Hello? Bee?" He sounded like he was already outside - running.

"It's... It's Addie," I blushed at having called myself by his name for me for the first time.

His heavy breathing stopped and the early fall wind passing by in the background quieted down. He probably stopped moving.

"Addie Baby?"

I breathed a small laugh. "Hi."

He stuttered a bit, apparently not knowing what to say. "I was... I've been texting Bee, did you... are you ok? Where are you?"

I sighed. "I'm fine now. Bee brought me to her house and we... we talked and I calmed down and it's all good now."

He huffed. "Are you sure?"

"I'm sure. Look, I'm sorry for, like... forbidding you from helping me today."

"It's fine-"

"No it's not. Because Bee told me you were worried and then I saw the texts and now I feel terrible. I was just embarrassed I guess and I didn't want you to see me like that."

"I totally get that, Addie, but I want you to know that I'll always be there to help. You don't have to be embarrassed around me. You know I really care about you."

My eyes closed as my heart soared. I couldn't remember the last time someone said that to me, with so much meaning. Harry was becoming more and more important to me by the second. I'd only known him for about a month but he meant so much to me already. He cared about me, he respected me, he was the only person that could initiate physical contact with me without hesitating or freaking me out.

I was about to open my mouth to speak when the overwhelming sting of tears came over me and I held my hands over my mouth instead. I let out a breath through my nose and squeezed my eyes shut.

"Oh, Addie," Harry whispered. "Just breathe, ok?"

I lowered my hand and let my chest jump on its own as I cried. I tried to do it quietly so Bee wouldn't hear.

"I didn't mean to make you cry," Harry said.

I sniffled and let me head fall forward into my hand. "No, it wasn't you. It's everything. And I'm so sorry that I can't... I can't tell you yet. I trust you, Harry, but I just- I can't handle being... I don't want you to-"

"Hey, do you think I'd be an āss and judge you?"

I exhaled. "I don't know."

"Look, Addie, I like you, a whole lot. And you know that; I haven't exactly been keeping it a secret from you," he chuckled, making me laugh as well. "I don't want you to think that whatever you can't tell me is going to drive me away."

"But what if-"

"No," he said firmly. "Stop thinking so hard."

I sighed and nodded to myself. He may have been right, but I couldn't keep my thoughts from running far lengths.

"Are you staying over at Bee's?"

I wished I could. "No, I can't. I have to work."

"Are you well enough?"

I smiled in appreciation. "I'm fine, Harry."

"Well just... be safe, alright?"

I breathed out through my nose. "Alright."

"Will you call me later? Maybe?"

"Yes," I answered right away. "When I'm done I'll call you."

"Ok," he chuckled.

"Alright," I bit my lip as I blushed.

"So, I'll talk to you later then?"

"Mhm."

"Addie?"

"Yeah?"

He waited a while before responding, making my heart try to break out of my chest and my fingers grasp the blanket that was draped over me so they'd stop shaking.

"I'm really glad you're ok."

My whole face got hot and I had to put my head down so Bee wouldn't catch a glimpse of my embarrassingly large and goofy smile.

"Thank you," I whispered.

"See you tomorrow, Addie Baby."


	16. Harry

"Grandma have another appointment?" Copeland spoke without looking up from his desk while I was halfway out the door.

"Yep," I smirked.

He looked up and mirrored my expression. "How many has it been since school started?"

I shrugged. "Quite a lot, she likes to double check when it comes to health."

He chuckled and shook his head. "Bye, Styles."

I saluted and rushed into the hallway to get to the dance studio.

Addie looked a lot better. When I got to French class, she was just happily reading to herself at our desk. I was pleased to see that she was reading The Little Prince, which she later told me she'd borrowed from Bee.

I'd quietly made my way to stand behind her without her noticing it was me. I'd leaned down and subtly took in the smell of her hair. "'On ne voit pas bien qu'avec le coeur. L'essentiel best invisible pour les yeux,'" (It is only with the heart that one can see rightly. What is essential is invisible to the eye) I'd whispered in her ear.

She'd jumped and turned around with wide eyes that had relaxed when she realized it was me. "So there is a French version."

"It's not a version, it's the actual book," I'd laughed, taking my seat next to her.

She'd closed the book and studied the cover. "That explains the author's name."

"I have it. If you want, when you're done with that one, you can read the original."

She'd looked up at me with sparkling eyes and the biggest, most beautiful smile I'd ever seen. At that moment, I made it my goal to make her smile like that every single day. It was the first time she'd smiled that wide in front of me, and I wanted to see it again and again and again.

So on my way to her class, I was thinking of all the ways I could make her smile. While I was walking down her hallway thinking about it, I was interrupted by Cassandra calling my name and running from the change room.

"Harry! Three weeks!" She cheered, charging toward me.

I furrowed my eyebrows. "What?"

She reached me and heaved when she did. "I'm three weeks... clean... and I... feel great... but right now... I can't breathe."

I smiled. "That's awesome, Cass."

"Thanks for all your help," she smiled softly.

"Of course, if you need anything else just- Jesus!" The loud bell rang, interrupting me and making me jump. "Just-just let me know okay?"

She bit her lip to hide a laugh.

I rolled my eyes. "The bell is loud when you're not expecting it, okay?"

She cackled a bit and then composed herself. "See ya, H."

I waved her off and turned to continue walking down the crowded hall. I only took a few steps before I saw Addie blindly shuffling in my direction with her nose in her book. All I could think was smile, smile, smile. So I charged toward her and wrapped my arms around her tightly, without her even looking up.

"Hello Miss Fevrole," I said loudly, turning some heads. "I noticed you weren't looking where you were going."

"Harry!" She whined into my chest, trying to push me away.

"It's really not safe to be distracted in the hallway; people can pull a sneak attack... like this," I lifted her up and spun her around once, making her squeal and giggle.

"Let go of me!" She laughed.

"Nope, sorry girl. You weren't paying attention and now you're mine," I started pulling her down the hall.

"Harry!" She bent her knees and tried to get out of my hold that way but I didn't let up.

I noticed a group of freshmen staring at us with weird expressions. "Don't mind us, I'm just taking this rebel off school grounds."

"Harry!" She cackled. "I can't breathe!"

I chuckled and let her go, keeping my hands on her shoulders and my eyes on her mile-wide smile. Her eyes were squeezed closed and her teeth were on full display. She was beautiful.

I stepped forward and wrapped my arms around her again, that time gently around her waist. She started attempting to catch her breath as she placed her hands and closed book against my chest. As she calmed down, I leaned forward and pressed our foreheads together.

"Hi," I smiled.

"Hi," she giggled back at me.

I wanted to be polite and ask how class was but all I could focus on were her lips. I began leaning in, basking in the pride that I felt as she wrapped her arms around my neck. I smirked and licked my lips, loving how close we were. I heard her shaky breaths and rubbed my hand up and down her back gently to reassure her. She could trust me.

"Oh, hello Styles."

I jumped and looked to my right when I heard the smug voice. Addie tried to escape my grasp, but I kept my left arm around her as I turned to face Mr. Copeland.

"Hi," he smirked at Addie. "You must be Harry's grandmother."

I caught her confused expression just before I opened my mouth. "She looks great for her age."

He chuckled. "Well, you should probably get her to her doctor's appointment, otherwise I might start thinking you leave my class early everyday to see a girl," he raised an eyebrow.

"Goodbye," I charged down the hall and around the corner, dragging a giggling Addie with me. "Oh, you think that's funny, huh?"

She nodded. "Very."

"Well at least I didn't get mistaken for a grandparent."

She rolled her eyes. "Shut up." After she hit me on the arm with her book, I retaliated by wrapping my arm around her neck and walking down the hall with her in a headlock.

~ ~ ~ ~

"We come from the land of the ice and snow, from the midnight sun where the hot springs flow..."

I banged my hands against the steering wheel as I sang along and ignored the stares I was getting from the neighbouring cars. The prissy rich folk could throw me every dirty look in the book and I wouldn't care. The best part was, I was sure most of the people who saw me knew who I was.

As I continued to jam, I braked at a red light and noticed something move on my right. There, on the floor of the car, was The Little Prince.

"Shīt."

Addie seemed so into it all day so I decided I'd turn around and drop it off. I turned into a random neighbourhood after the light turned green, made a three-point turn and went back the way I came.

The radio was already pretty much on full blast, but when Can't Fight This Feeling came on, I turned it up even louder.

"And even as I wander, I'm keeping you in sight. You're candle in the window on a cold, dark winter's night. And I'm getting closer than I ever thought I might..."

I turned onto her street and drove down to her house. There was still a car in the driveway like there was when I dropped her off, so if she'd left the house then at least I could leave the book with someone.

I parked the car on the side of the road and grabbed the book, getting out and jogging to and up her driveway. As I made my way to the door, I wondered if Addie's parents knew about her. How she barely ate, how she had a meltdown, how she never let anyone touch her. She never mentioned them unless she was talking about a childhood memory.

That started leading me to believe that they were behind it all. And I hoped for their sakes that it wasn't true.

Book in hand, I knocked on the front door and stepped back. Only about five seconds had passed before I heard footsteps and the click of a lock. A man that looked to be in his thirties opened the door. He had messy blonde hair, brown eyes and looked nothing like Addie.

"Can I help you?" He looked confused but smiled nonetheless.

"Uh, my name's Harry. I go to Scarsdale High School," I was confused as to why his expression hadn't changed. "L-Lainey left her book in my car."

He shook his head. "Sorry, man. I have no idea who you're talking about."

"Adelaine Fevrole?"

He shrugged. "Never heard of her."

I furrowed my eyebrows. "There's no Adelaine here?"

"Nope, sorry," he smiled politely.

"That's... um, thanks."

"No problem, see you around," he nodded and began to close the door.

I slowly turned - confused as hell - and walked back to my car. What the hell was that?

Before I drove off, I pulled out my phone to call her. I knew she said that she had to be the one to call, but I was kind of freaked out. It rang and rang but no one picked up, leaving me with an automated voice system asking me to leave a message.

"Uh, hi Ad- uh L-Lainey. It's Harry. Give me a call when you can. We need to talk."


	17. Adelaine

"Shoot, shoot, shoot," I muttered as I stumbled through the front door. I had reached into my bag to grab The Little Prince, but it wasn't there. I must've left it in Harry's car.

I shut the door behind me and threw my shoes off, running to the kitchen to call Harry and ask him to bring it to school the next day. I had to make it quick, though, because I needed to get to Robbie Owens' house for tutoring.

"Who's Harry?"

I froze in the threshold and stared at John. He was standing beside the table with the answering machine and I panicked. What if he called?

"Who?" I nervously clasped my hands behind my back and slightly bowed my head. It was the first time I'd seen him since he put me in the basement.

He huffed and reached out to press a button on the answering machine.

"Uh, hi Ad- uh L-Lainey. It's Harry. Give me a call when you can. We need to talk."

He sounded so serious, but I couldn't dwell that; John was fuming.

"Who is he and why is he calling my house?"

I exhaled deeply. "H-He's my friend."

He raised an eyebrow. "What do you need to talk about?"

"I left my book, I... I forgot my book with him."

"Your book or your panties?"

My eyes widened. "No, I didn't- it was my book."

He took a threatening step toward me. "Are you fūcking this boy?"

I shook my head frantically.

"Are you sneaking him into the house and fūcking him?"

"No!"

"Watch your tone," he snapped. "And don't lie to me."

"I'm not I–"

"I know a dirty little slut when I see one."

"Stop!" I sobbed.

"You love when I'm in your room, don't you Lainey?" He smirked.

I could feel my chest tighten. "No."

"And when you sit on my lap; you practically beg for it."

"Stop."

He came closer to me and I could smell the alcohol. "Who's got better hands, me or him?"

"Enough!" His grin was wiped off his face as soon as my hands touched his chest to shove him away. My hand flew up to cover my mouth in shock about what I had just done.

And then he was in my face again.

~ ~ ~ ~

My fist was beginning to hurt from how hard I was pounding on the door. The rain was seeping through my clothes and I shivered on the front porch. Finally, through the patterned glass window, I could see a figure appear.

The door opened and I could feel the warmth spilling out from the inside. I looked desperately at the blonde at the door, not knowing what to say or how to explain. Lucky for me, she took initiative and frantically turned her head toward the staircase.

"Bee! Beatrice!" Mrs. Young called. "Lainey, Sweetheart, get inside. Come on, come on."

I sniffled and tucked my bruise face into her neck as she ushered me inside with her arm around my shoulders. I knew she meant well, and I needed a hug.

"Shh, shh," she stroked my hair.

"Mom?!" I heard Bee from upstairs.

"Honey, come down here please!" Mrs. Young gushed, turning to me afterward. "Lainey, who did this?"

I shook my head as my bottom lip trembled. I didn't know how to say it.

"Lainey?" I lifted my head and looked at Bee at the bottom of the stairs. Her eyes widened at my face.

"Can I... can I sleep here tonight?" I whispered.

"Yes!" They both spoke at once, Bee coming forward to hug me as well.

"I'll call Bee's dad and ask him to pick up some mac and cheese, hm?" Mrs. Young asked gently.

I nodded and let a few tears slip.

"Now you two go upstairs. Bee, get her in some warm clothes and I'll be up in a few minutes, okay?"

Bee nodded and gently grabbed my arm to lead me upstairs. I followed with my head down. Once we were in her room, I silently stood in the doorway and watched her rummage through all her clothes, ashamed of myself.

"Bee?" I whispered.

"Lainey, get those clothes off, you're shaking," she spoke as she searched through her closet.

"B-Bee."

"Shīt, where is it?" She said to herself.

"Bee," I urged louder, and she turned around.

She watched me as I stood, bleeding, bruised and helpless in her doorway. Holding her eye contact, I began to feel dirty and exposed.

Bee's chin started to shake. "Lainey, come here."

I ran toward her and hugged her as tight as I could. She swung us from side to side as I loudly sobbed into her shoulder.

"Do you want me to call Harry?" She asked.

I pulled back and shook my head. "No, I'm not ready. I can't have him seeing me like this."

"Okay," she nodded understandingly. "I was looking for this sweater I stole from him a couple weeks ago. I'm sure it still kinda smells like him a bit, do you want it?"

I couldn't help but smile and nod. We both turned at the sound of a knock on Bee's door. Mrs. Young stood in the doorway.

"Lainey, Honey, I can take your clothes once you change, put them in the dryer and all. Alright?"

"Thank you, Mrs. Young."

"Call me Missy," she smiled. "I'll be downstairs."

~ ~ ~ ~

"There, you can't even tell," Bee smiled.

I turned to look in the mirror and felt relief wash over me. The cut on my eyebrow could've passed as an accidental scratch from a fingernail; the bruises on my cheek and jaw were completely invisible; and the darkness under my eyes was put to rest. There wasn't a lot that could've been done for my busted lip, but Bee found a lipstick that didn't have any colour yet covered up the split pretty well. We also came up with a story to tell Harry if he asked. And he was going to.

"Okay, as much as I hate lying to my best friend, let's practice one more time," Bee said.

I took a deep breath and turned to face her. "Robbie fell into me and his forehead hit my lip."

She nodded. "Good. The swelling's gone way down and all the blood is gone. It's a valid excuse."

"Thanks for coming up with it," I sighed.

We stood in her bathroom, silent, looking everywhere but each other. I didn't know what to say. I didn't know if there was anything to say. The previous night was quite dramatic and I still felt guilty for two reasons: 1) that I intruded on the Young's night and 2) that I told Bee I'd be returning home that day after school.

"I don't want to push you–"

"Soon, I'm just trying to figure out how to say it," I interrupted Bee.

She nodded. "Okay, okay. Let's go to school."

I took a deep breath, checking over the clothes she'd given me. Harry wasn't supposed to know I stayed over at Bee's house so we had to find her plainest clothes for me to wear. I nodded to myself once and exited the bathroom.

On the ride there, I said the excuse over and over again in my head so I'd get more familiar with it and so it would come out smoothly. I checked my makeup several times, making sure it was there but that it was barely noticeable.

I watched as my hands trembled in my lap. I needed to get it together or else Harry would see right through me. And I wasn't ready for him to know. Not yet.

My heart dropped as the school appeared in my window. Harry was probably already there, waiting for me like he always did.

"I'll go in first if you want," Bee said. "I usually get here a few minutes before you, anyway."

"I turned to her, emotionally pained. "Can we go together please?"

She pouted her lips and nodded. "Sure we can."

As we made our way to the doors, I tried to stay a little behind her. I felt like I was hiding, and that made me feel safe.

"Lainey, you can't tell," Bee faced me. "I swear."

I let out a breath and pushed on until we were inside, looking for Harry.

"Addie!"

He saw me before I saw him, clearly. I turned and saw him almost running down the hall; I assumed he'd just been to his locker. He looked frantic and I panicked. What was wrong with him? I didn't call him back, but it was just a book.

As he approached, Bee gently squeezed my shoulder and silently asked if I was alright. I nodded and she walked away. I tucked my bottom lip into my mouth slightly, not wanting him to notice it at all.

"I-I'm sorry I never called you back; I had to go to work and I was tired when I got ho–"

"Where do you live?"

I widened my eyes at his frown, his tense stance, his heavy breathing and – most of all – his words. My heart was beating a mile a minute and my palms were beginning to shake. He couldn't have known, he couldn't.

"W-What?"


	18. Harry

She looked stunned. She was silent and frozen, wide, worried eyes staring at nothing but me. Her mouth was hanging open slightly and her chest was beginning to heave. She began to slowly shake her head.

"W-What?"

I could tell she was beginning to panic and I didn't want her to go through what she had the other day. So I gently grabbed her elbow and led her to a janitor's closet. Probably not the best idea, but there was no one in there so we'd have our privacy.

She kept her eyes on the ground as I closed the door. When I locked it, she looked up with wide eyes.

"Relax," I said softly, placing my hands on either side of her face. "Listen, hey, I'm not angry at you. I just need an explanation."

She was literally shaking. "Harry–"

"You left your book in my car so I turned around and went to your house."

She squeezed her eyes closed and let her head fall forward. "No, no, no..."

"And when I knocked on the door, someone who looked way too young to be your dad opened the door."

She blindly reached up and removed my hands from her face. "Oh, my God," she sobbed.

"And he told me he didn't know who you were."

She took a step back and weakly held her hands out to stop me from moving forward.

"Addie, it's okay. I just want to know... i-if you're okay."

She shook her head again. "You want to know why," she whispered.

"No, Baby," I assured, wiping a few tears from her cheeks. I did want to know why, but I wouldn't admit that to her. I needed her to relax.

"I was going to tell you, Harry, I swear. I just wasn't ready, I wasn't ready, I'm so sorry, I'm so so sorry–"

"Hey," I pulled her forward and gently wrapped my arms around her waist. "Why are you crying? Why are you sorry?"

She kept her face hidden against my chest as she sniffled and shakily inhaled and exhaled. "Be-Because-cause... I ha-have to... h-have to–"

"Okay, okay, stop, it's okay, stop," I tried hugging her closer but she pushed me away and took a step back.

"N-No, I... Sit down," she urged. She'd balled her hands into fists and almost started heaving. Her jaw was clenched and tears were falling from her eyes on their own accord.

"Addie... Sweetheart maybe you should sit."

If it was possible, her expression turned angrier. "Sit."

I sighed and reached down to flip an empty bucket upside down – makeshift chair. I silently sat and looked up at her patiently. She was tiredly rubbing her temples, seeming to attempt to calm herself down.

"I was going to tell you," she spoke slowly. "I was. I just... remember when I freaked out and I called you later and said I didn't want to tell you what happened because I didn't want you to judge me?"

I nodded, my heart aching at the memory.

She nodded as well, but to herself. "And then, remember you said you wouldn't?"

I nodded again.

Her chin started to tremble and my hands itched to hold her. She spoke in a high voice, and quickly so she wouldn't sob while she spoke. "Okay do you think you can stand by that for the next few minutes please?"

In a haste, as she threw her head back to keep her tears from falling, I grabbed both of her hands. "Of course I can... Hey, Addie, look at me."

She let out a breath and lowered her head again.

"Yes," I said firmly.

She nodded. "Just let me talk, okay?"

"Okay," I rubbed the backs of her hands with my thumbs.

"I don't live in that house," she started. "But I used to. I lived there with my parents until I was six, but then one night we were in the car..." she withdrew one of her hands from mine to hold in front of her mouth. "And we were hit... by a drunk... a drunk driver and our car flipped..." she inhaled sharply and glued her eyes to our hands. "It flipped and landed on its side. And when I woke up, my parents weren't moving, but it didn't make sense to me because their eyes were open. I didn't understand what was going on until I got pulled out by someone and they took me to the hospital.

"I kept asking for my parents but no one would tell me where they were, but then my uncle showed up... and said I had to live with him... because my parents weren't coming back. And the reason I didn't tell you any of this is because I know... I know how wealthy you are and how strict your dad is... and how you said he looks down on certain people..." She was full-on crying. "And I just didn't want you to be ashamed of me... because of who I am... and because I was forced to relocate to this school because we have no money left, and because I wear old and worn clothes, and because I have to work three jobs now so I can still go to college, and because... because I live in M-Meadowbrook Park."

I sat, eyes wide and hands strongly clutching hers. She shook as she sobbed and as I put all the pieces together. My heart was completely broken.

"Addie," I whispered, trying to get her to look at me. "Adelaine... Baby."

I stood up as she tried to compose herself, but failed. She couldn't control her breathing and it was beginning to worry me.

I knelt down so we were eye level and put my hands on her shoulders. "Alright, eyes on me, Fevrole. We're gonna breathe together okay?"

She shyly looked into my eyes and nodded.

"Okay, deep breath in," I filled my lungs with air, as did she. "And slowly let it out," we exhaled. "Few more times. In... and out..."

We continued until she had calmed down and I took advantage of the silence.

"Remember when you freaked out and called me later and said you didn't want to tell me what happened because you didn't want me to judge you?"

She nodded.

"And then remember when I said I didn't want you to think that whatever you couldn't tell me would drive me away?"

She nodded again.

"I stand by that."

She inhaled and closed her eyes.

"I'm a man of my word, Addie. Nothing you just said makes me want to run from you. And I am not ashamed of you, not in the least. It was a shock, that's all. But I will say one thing: If you need anything, you or your uncle, if you need anything just come to me okay?"

"No, I–"

"Shush," I stopped her from talking by putting my entire hand over her face.

She pulled it off and breathed a half-hearted laugh. "No."

"Excuse me, Adelaine. You're being quite stubborn."

"And you're being quite persistent."

"That's because I quite like you," I pressed my lips to her forehead.

She gently placed her hands on my chest and we stood like that for a while – even after the bell rang.

"Addie?" I said quietly.

"Mhm?"

"What would you do after I dropped you off?"

She sighed. "I walked home."

I pulled back to look her in the eyes, shocked. "Are you being serious?"

She nodded shyly. "I didn't want you to see."

"Addie, you're insane," I urged. "That's gotta be, like, an hour-long walk."

She frowned. "It's not that long."

"Well it's not short. What were you thinking?"

"I was thinking I didn't have money for the bus and my uncle doesn't have a car and I didn't want you to see where I live."

I cupped her face in my hands. "Well I'm obviously not gonna keep dropping you off at that house."

"No, Harry," she stepped back. "I still don't want you to see where I live."

I furrowed my eyebrows, confused. "Then where am I supposed to drop you off?"

She sighed and shook her head slowly. "You can't."

"What?"

"I'm sorry but I can't let you see... I can't."

And then she ran out the door. I didn't see her until French, but even then she was distant. She didn't look at me once and every time I tried to talk to her she'd mumble a response without even looking me in the eye.

She didn't sit with us at lunch and I was worried not knowing where she was. I left early to go search for her but I couldn't find her. Bee told me to leave her alone but I couldn't. The only reason I even went to fourth period was because Copeland passed me in the hall and said something along the lines of 'I won't even think about letting you out early if you're even a second late.'

I spent the whole class zoned out. I didn't spring into action until I decided it was time to leave. It was earlier than usual but I wanted to catch Addie before she had the chance to run off. So, after much convincing, Copeland let me go fifteen minutes before the end of the day. I rushed down to the first floor and to the dance studio, where I sat and waited until they all walked out.

My eyes hastily searched for her long brown hair and beautiful face, but I didn't see her. When the last person walked out, I walked in. Mrs. McKidd was there, getting her stuff together and turning everything off.

"Hey, Miss," I greeted.

She looked up from her bag. "Hi, Harry. What's up?"

"Uh, I was just wondering if you had seen Ad– Lainey?" I needed to start remembering to call her Lainey when I was talking to other people.

She smiled slightly. "Yeah, she came by before class started and said she wasn't feeling well. So I sent her home."

I sighed and closed my eyes. "Okay, thank you."

"Wait, Harry," she stopped me from leaving. "Did you see her at all today?"

I nodded. "Briefly, yeah."

"Did you see her lip?"

I frowned. "Her lip?"

"It's busted."

"What? How?"

She shrugged. "I didn't ask. But I could tell she was trying to hide it. Do you know... anything...?"

What the hell? "What are you trying to say?"

"No!" She gushed. "Not like that, God no. I know you'd never... No, I just wanted to know if you had any idea what happened."

I un-tensed and shook my head. "No, I don't."

She nodded. "I just... worry about her, you know?"

I huffed. "Yeah, I know. Me too."

She had no idea how much.


	19. Adelaine

I huffed as I pushed my front door open and let it slam closed behind me. I regretted having done that when I heard a loud groan from the living room.

My body froze, anticipating a verbal attack for waking him up. But it never came. I slowly took a few steps forward and peered around the corner on my left.

He was supposed to be at work, but he was passed out on the couch instead. I let out a relieved breath and very quietly approached him to put his joint out, something I'd been doing since I was eight.

I let him be and tiptoed my way back to the foyer to take my shoes off and start going upstairs. But the phone rang.

My heart was in my throat but I didn't have time to panic. I needed to pick it up quickly before he woke up. He was probably angry that I left the house and never came back. And I wasn't mentally prepared to face him.

I ran as quickly and quietly as I could to the kitchen and yanked the phone off the wall. My eyes widened more when I realized I'd have to answer it.

"H-Hello?" I whispered.

"Addie?"

I breathed out in relief but I was still upset that he called. "What are you doing?" I whispered angrily.

"You just left, you didn't even say anything. I was worried."

I closed my eyes. "Harry, I told you I had to be the one to call you."

"Well I'm sorry if I get a little concerned when the girl I care about a whole fūcking lot just disappears. You can't just leave when you freak out, Addie. Just talk to me."

I peered around the corner of the kitchen entrance to the living room to make sure John was still asleep. When I saw he was, I pressed my back against the kitchen wall.

"I'm sorry, alright? I just panicked and the first thing I do when I panic is take off."

"Okay well what about at lunch? I didn't say anything to you in class so why'd you leave?"

I huffed. "I didn't want to risk letting you convince me to let you drive me home."

"What's wrong with that?"

I rolled my lips in and formulated my words before spewing them out in a scared and desperate mess. "I told you I didn't want you to see where I live."

"I don't care about that, Addie!" He exclaimed. "I don't care where you live, I care about you. Nothing's gonna change that."

"I don't want you to see," I whispered.

He huffed, obviously angry. "Why?"

"Please don't give me a hard time about this," I closed my stinging eyes.

"I'm not trying to, I just want you to talk to me."

"I am, you won't listen to what I'm saying."

"But you're not saying what I'm asking you to," he said slowly and angrily. "I just want to-"

"You want to know why!" I yelled. "You want to know why I don't want you to see where I live, right?"

"Yes!"

"It's because I'm fūcking ashamed, Harry! I hate everything about my life and I have for almost twelve years. There hasn't been one good thing at all, and that's because everything comes to an end and I can't do anything to stop that. You and Bee and Jimmy and Andy, meeting you guys was the first good thing to happen to me in a long time. You... are the only good thing in my life, you're the only thing I care about and I don't want to lose you.

"And you can say whatever you want but I know you'll leave. Eventually you will. So if keeping my secrets locked up and making you angry means I get to hold on to you for a little bit longer then so be it. That's what I'm gonna do. Because it's been so long since I've laughed or smiled or hugged someone and I've never had a... a you. I've never had someone like you. And I'm not ready to lose all of that yet."

I furiously wiped under my eyes with the hand that wasn't holding the phone. I leaned my head against the wall and breathed deeply as I waited for Harry to say something. My eyes were glued on the ceiling and my head was beginning to shake side to side. I was somewhat convinced that what I was trying to hold on to had just slipped through my fingers.

"Harry please say something," I begged.

A few more seconds of complete silence passed and I was tempted to hang up.

"You said the F-word," Harry whispered.

I smacked my hand down on my thigh and stood up from the wall. "Harry, God! Just be serious, I'm trying to tell you something."

"Okay, okay, relax," he gushed. "I get it, I understand. But you're not gonna lose me, Addie. I don't know how else to tell you that."

"You can tell me any way you want, I still believe that one day you'll be gone."

He huffed. "Well then you must not think very highly of me."

I ran my hand down my face. "That's not it. Because I do think highly of you. I think so highly of you that it seems almost impossible to me that you like me in the first place. Just-just... let me keep you."

"Addie-"

"Just let me hold on to you for a little bit longer."

"But-"

"Harry, please, please let this go now," I begged.

"I..." I waited, but he didn't continue.

"Please," I whispered.

He sighed and cleared his throat. "Okay."

I smiled sadly to myself when I realized that it was like an agreement to an eventual goodbye. For me it was. I knew he wasn't going to stay for much longer, because nothing in my life lasted. but I couldn't lose him yet.

"Thank you."


	20. Adelaine

"No, I already told you: I'm not inviting her."

"But she's so hot, please!"

"No, it's not happening, the last time she showed up to one of my parties she had sex in my parents' bed and she drank all of my mom's wine. And you know how much trouble I got in for that," Andy said sternly to a desperate Jimmy.

"But that's not gonna happen again, please just let me bring her," Jimmy begged.

Andy closed his eyes and rubbed his temples. "Dude, the only reason you want her there is because you were the one she slept with in my parents' room."

I couldn't help but giggle. I kept my head down so they wouldn't see as they continued bickering back and forth. Andy was throwing a post-Halloween party that weekend – something Harry told me he did every year. Andy loved Halloween, and I got to see that the previous week when he went all out with his zombie costume. He absolutely terrified me when I walked into school that day; all the makeup and torn clothes and blood. It was horrifying. But he loved the day so much that he threw an annual party to celebrate it for a second time.

"Okay well what about Megan?" Jimmy asked. "Is she coming?"

"With her boyfriend," Bee laughed, taking a bite from her sandwich.

"What?" Jimmy's eyes widened.

Right then, Harry squeezed my hand and leaned over, pulling my attention away from our friends. "Eat," he whispered.

I rolled my eyes and squeezed back. "I need my hand, then."

He turned back to his pizza and didn't let go. "Never mind. You can starve."

I laughed and removed my hand, using it to playfully shove him before I turned to my unopened yogurt.

Harry and I were fine. There was tension sometimes, for obvious reasons. But we were fine. We were still... us. We still joked around, I still went to his soccer practices (which were almost over on account of the weather), he still waited for me after dance – the only difference there was that he'd walk me to the door instead of to his car.

But we were fine.

"Hey, L, are you sure you don't wanna come?" Andy asked.

I nodded. "Yeah, it's just not really my thing."

"Are you absolutely sure? It'll be fun."

"I'm sure," I smiled politely. "But thank you for inviting me."

He nodded. "Next time."

"Oh, fūck!" Jimmy groaned.

"What?" Bee asked.

He sighed. "I can't go."

"Thank God," Andy raised his hands to the sky. "Those stains on the bedsheets took forever to get out."

"Why not?" Bee asked Jimmy.

"I forgot my parents are leaving tomorrow night. I have to stay with Ava."

My heart sped up when he mentioned the little girl Harry had told me about. Jimmy's sister, Ava.

"I can watch her," I almost yelled from how excited I was.

"What?" He asked.

"I can watch her. I'd love to watch her."

He seemed apprehensive. "Lainey, that's really awesome of you. But Ava's aut–"

"I told her," Harry interrupted him. "Addie- I mean Ladd- Lan- Lainey... has experience."

I laughed at his inability to say my name. "I worked with children with special needs last year. Mainly with an autistic boy named Connor."

"Really?" Jimmy's eyes lit up.

"Yeah, so I'd be happy to stay with her," I smiled.

"Oh my God, Lainey, you're the best! I don't know what to say."

I shook my head. "Don't even worry about it."

"Okay, here," he dug into his bag and took out a blank piece of paper and a pen. "This is my address."

He handed it to me when he was finished writing. "What time should I be there?"

"Uh, well my parents are leaving at around nine tomorrow night. So maybe eight? Eight-thirty? Just so they can meet you and stuff."

"Sure," I smiled.

"God, thank you so, so, so much. I really owe you one."

"No you don't," I laughed. "I'm more than happy to do it."

I was so excited to finally meet that little girl.

~ ~ ~ ~

"Lainey! Lainey!"

I turned around and saw Lauren running from the change room door. I paused while slipping into my jacket to watch with curious eyes as she excitedly ran over to me.

"Oh my God, okay, you can say no and I'll totally understand, but..."

I raised my eyebrows. "But...?"

"Mrs. McKidd said I could have a solo and that I could choose who choreographed it as long as I asked them and they were available to do it so I'd like to ask you because you're amazing and I know you're already doing Bee's solo but you were my first choice so I just wanted to ask and make sure before I went to one of the teachers."

I widened my eyes after her spiel and softly laughed as she hunched over slightly to catch her breath. "I'd love to."

She stood up straight. "Really?"

"Yeah, I have two groups on Tuesdays, one group on Wednesdays, Bee on Thursday and one group on Fridays, so maybe that day? I have another job on Mondays, Wednesdays and Thursdays."

She nodded. "Yeah Friday's perfect. Thank you so much!"

"Absolutely, see you Monday," I smiled as I walked past her to exit the change room.

Harry was there waiting and walked forward as I exited. "Are you excited to start teaching?"

I smiled. "Yeah, nervous but excited."

"Have you picked a song for Bee's solo?"

I rolled my eyes. "Tell her nice try – I'm not telling."

He chuckled. "Well what if I wanna know?"

I smiled. "You don't, though."

He faked offence as he put his arm around me. "Maybe I do."

I shook my head. "Well I'm not telling you, anyway. You'll run and tell Bee and it's supposed to be a surprise."

"Fine," he groaned. "But she keeps hitting me every time I tell her I can't get it out of you. I've got bruises all over my arms."

"You do not."

"I do, look!" He pushed up the sleeve of his jacket and showed me his left forearm. He pointed to a teeny tiny brown bruise – almost invisible – that he probably got from doing something stupid, not from Bee.

But to play along, I widened my eyes and grabbed his arm. "Oh my goodness, what did the doctors say?"

He chuckled and pulled his arm out of my grasp. "Very funny."

I laughed. "So what are you dressing up as tomorrow?"

He sighed. "Well, probably just, like... some sort of animal or something. Maybe a greaser."

"Your creativity is enviable," I said.

"Well all my good ideas went to shīt."

"Why?" I furrowed my eyebrows.

"Because my Beast won't have a Beauty; my Clyde won't have a Bonnie; my Danny won't have a Sandy; my... ketchup won't have a mustard; my uh... my... uh... oh, my Ken won't have a Ba–"

"Okay, okay, I get it," I laughed. "But just FYI, I don't like mustard so I'd have to be the ketchup."

"Seriously, Addie," he moved to stand in front of me. "Are you sure you don't want to go?"

I sighed. "It's just not... I'd just be a nuisance standing in a dark corner all uncomfortable."

"But I could stand there and be uncomfortable with you!" He smiled wide, making me do the same.

"That's sweet, but I don't think you understand that it's not an exaggeration to say that I'd be there the whole time. I'd just take you away from your friends and I really, really don't wanna do that. Besides, I'm babysitting Ava."

"But Jimmy can find someone else to watch her. Please, Addie," he grabbed my hands. "I just want to spend more time with you."

His eyes were desperate, so was his grip on my hands. And I felt like crying. It almost pained me to say no, but that was the only answer I could give him.

"Look, we can pick a few days every once in a while to hang out or something okay? I want to spend time with you too."

He sighed through his nose, nodding and looking down at our hands. But then his hands were on either side of my face and his eyes were one mine.

My heart was beating so fast and it picked up more when I realized how few people were in the halls. He was finally, finally going to kiss me.

"Styles! Styles' grandmother!" We jumped apart and turned to Mr. Copeland walking down the hall. "Get to your appointment."

And the moment was ruined.

"Where's your jacket?" Harry asked once we got to the door.

"This is it," I tugged on my black sweater.

He raised his eyebrows. "It's, like, thirty degrees out."

I shrugged. "It's not that bad. I forgot my thicker jacket this morning."

"Will you..." he eyed the door. "Addie, will you let me drive you home?"

I sighed, my heart in my stomach. "I'm fine."

"It's cold."

"I'll survive."

"Addie."

"Harry," I smiled gently. "Please?"

He closed his eyes and shook his head. "Fine."

So we said our goodbyes and I started my walk like the previous two weeks. Harry never argued over it, he'd just let it go when I'd say please. And I always said please.

We never really spoke about our conversation since we had it. It was probably better that way. Carefree. Easy. Easier. It was hard, but ignorance made it easier.

I shivered as I continued on my way, wrapping my arms tightly around myself. The sky was getting cloudier, the wind was picking up and the air was becoming colder and colder. When I got to Finch and Morello – after I said my prayer to my parents – it started to snow.

I felt a tear slip down my cheek and I told myself it was from the temperature dropping, but the heavy pain in my chest said otherwise. Why was that my life? Why was everything so hard? What did I do?

As the snow started picking up, so did my pace. I still had a ways to go and I couldn't feel my fingers. My breath was visible every time I exhaled and the skin of my legs was slightly prickling beneath my jeans. Another tear slipped down my cheek.

My chest constricted in fear when I heard a car slow down just on my left. I heard the engine rumbling as I continued to walk. I wasn't in the mood to be followed so I sped up.

"Addie!"

I turned with wide eyes to find Harry slowly driving on the side of the road with the window down, concerned eyes on me. I was frozen.

"Get in the car, Baby," he said.

I shook my head and started backing away the way I had come. I stared at him in shock through the snow.

"You're shivering, please just let me take you home."

I bit my lip and desperately shook my head. No, that couldn't be it. I wasn't ready for it all to end.

He sighed, put the car in park and got out. I watched him walk around the front as my hands shook – not just from the weather. I continued backing away.

"No," I sobbed. "No, Harry, please, no, no, no, no, no, no, no–"

Then he kissed me. He kissed me.

His hands were on my face and then went to my hips to pull me closer. He was so warm that I melted into him, my arms bent at the elbows and pressed between the two of us to keep warm. I didn't know exactly what I was doing with the kiss, but he was so, so warm. So I just pressed myself closer to him and reconnected my surely blue lips to his whenever they parted.

After a while, he pulled back and pressed his nose to my left cheek. "Please... please."

I sniffled loudly, continuing to shake in his arms, but slowly nodded nonetheless. He wasn't going to let up, and I was so overwhelmed by the kiss that I gave into him. But I was heartbroken, sobbing as he held me close and led me to his car.

"It's okay, this isn't gonna change anything. I promise you, nothing will change," he spoke into my hair as we approached the passenger door.

I sobbed in response, unable to think of anything to say. Harry opened the door and helped me into the seat. He didn't back away until he rubbed my arms a few times, pressed a kiss to my forehead and then a slightly longer one to my lips.

He hadn't closed my door yet and I realized it was because my fingers were tightly clutching the sleeve of his jacket.

"Hey, it's fine. I'll be right beside you in two seconds, I promise."

He squeezed my hands and I apprehensively let go, leaning my head onto the door once he closed it, crying, waiting for him. Once he was in the driver's seat, he grabbed my hand and held it over his right leg.

"I need you to take some deep breaths, okay? Can you do that?" He asked as he continued driving down the road.

I nodded and did as he asked, still crying. I felt him lift my hand up and bring it to his face. It sounded like he kissed something, but I didn't feel anything.

"Okay, well," he chuckled, sounding embarrassed. "I just kissed my own hand."

I laughed a bit through the tears until I realized how much I was going to miss him. Then I just started crying harder.

"Hey," he actually kissed my hand. "Talk to me, why are you crying?"

My chest tightened. "I don't want you to see."

He sighed. "I don't know how else to tell you that it won't change anything."

My head fell back and I let out a shaky sigh. I just closed my eyes and cried to myself until we got to Meadowbrook Park and Harry asked where to go. I gave him the directions and squeezed his hand a bit tighter.

"You okay?" He asked.

I just nodded and kept my eyes toward the window watching the small, broken houses pass by. That was my life.

I didn't dare look at Harry as we drove, too embarrassed. I just watched the perverts and drug dealers stare in confusion at the nice car passing by.

"That one," I said lowly with a halfhearted point toward my home.

"Addie," Harry sighed. "Please don't be upset. It's cold and you don't have a jacket. I needed to make sure you were okay."

I shrugged. "It's fine."

He pulled up in front of the house. "Look at me."

"Thanks for the ride," I needed to get out. I couldn't look at him or else I'd stay and never leave. I needed to get out.

He caught my wrist just as I pushed the door open. "You don't get to shut me out."

I slowly turned to face him, waiting for him to finished.

"You're worried that you'll lose me, but right now I'm losing you. I'm sitting here right now, surrounded by drug dealers and prostitutes, looking right at your house and absolutely nothing has changed about the way I feel toward you. I need you to believe me, and you should, because the thing you've been trying to avoid is happening and the only thoughts running through my head right now are, 'How can I get her to stop crying?', 'God, she's beautiful even with tears all over her face', 'I hope she'll be okay with me kissing her again', and 'I'm gonna kiss her anyway'."

I didn't have time to say anything before he was kissing me again. He was still holding my hand over the console while his other one gently pushed away the hair that had fallen into my face. I forced myself to believe that it wouldn't be the last time we kissed, but something kept telling me it would be.

I pulled away quickly so he wouldn't see me crying again and I pushed myself out of the car before he could stop me. Without looking back at him, I ran up the driveway, onto the porch and through the front door. I stood with my back pressed against the cool metal for at least five minutes before walking into the living room too look out the front window.

He was gone.


	21. Adelaine

I sputtered out a few coughs at the end of Jimmy's driveway. I'd left my house a bit later than I wanted to so I had to almost run the whole way there. I was completely out of breath when I arrived so I took a few seconds to breathe before making my way to the door, excited to meet Ava.

Seconds after knocking, a woman with blonde, wavy hair wearing a grey blouse and black jeans answered the door. She looked identical to Jimmy, except for her hair. I assumed he got the black from his father.

"You must be Lainey," she smiled.

I nodded. "It's nice to meet you, Mrs. Kaiser."

"You, too, honey. Come on in."

She stepped back to let me in and I quietly did just as Jimmy came down the stairs in a Superman costume. I noticed how dimly lit their home was.

"Hey, L," Jimmy came over to us.

"Thank you so much for doing this," Jimmy's mom said. "You have no idea how happy you've made me."

"I'm happy to do it," I said as I removed my shoes.

"Ava's up in her room, but I'd just like to go over some things with you first if that's okay."

"Sure, absolutely."

She led me into the kitchen and gestured for me to sit on a stool at the counter. The kitchen was quite large, just like their whole house. Their colour scheme was all black and white with a few maroon accents. I felt so out of place.

"So, Ava is sensitive to light, as I'm sure you can probably tell," Mrs. Kaiser said, pointing up at the dim lights.

"Does she have sunglasses?" I asked.

She smiled. "They're in her room. She usually puts them on herself whenever she starts to feel uncomfortable. She doesn't really have many meltdowns because of it anymore. She does have meltdowns, though, at night if her bedtime routine is interrupted. She brushes her teeth first, brushes her hair, goes to the washroom, she likes to be tucked in and then get a goodnight kiss. If you're not comfortable with that then just explain it to her.

"She doesn't always understand how other people are feeling, so just communicate with her - if you're frustrated, tell her; if you're tired, tell her; if you're anything just tell her. If she starts flapping her hands, that means she's scared or upset. We have a bunch of pieces of patterned material you can give her to calm her down. They're in her room; Jimmy can show you later. Um, she's very clumsy so she's not allowed to run or go up and down the stairs without someone there to carry her or hold her hand.

"She's very prone to repeating words or phrases she's never heard before and it takes her, like, several hours to stop. So for the sake of your own sanity just use simple terms. Oh food! She only eats soft food so feel free to use the microwave or the oven if you need to. There's leftover mashed potatoes in the fridge which are her favourite, so she'll probably want that. You may need to actually feed her, though. She might get excited and a little restless.

"Also, she likes to have a hand on you when she's talking to you. She probably won't do it when it's just you two because she does it to remember who she wants to talk to. Other than all that, I think you're good. I'm sorry if it's overwhelming."

I shook my head excitedly and smiled. "No, no, it's not. Not at all."

Mrs. Kaiser smiled. "Okay, good! Jimmy can take you to see her. I have to finish loading the car with my husband. I'll be sure to say goodbye before we leave"

I nodded, slipping off the stool and walking toward the stairs where Jimmy was. "Sure, I'll see you soon then."

I smiled as Jimmy led me up the stairs, also trying not to laugh at his costume. "You look great," I said.

He chuckled. "I put it on too early. Ava had me flying her around for, like, an hour."

I laughed and followed him down a narrow hallway to a slightly closed, white door with a big, pink A on the front of it.

Jimmy turned to me expectantly and I nodded. He gently knocked on the door and peeked his head inside.

"Hey, Ava," he smiled. "Wanna meet your new best friend?"

"Lainey!" I heard a high-pitched squeal and my heart soared.

Jimmy opened the door all the way and immediately, a little blonde thing was running toward me like they were a long-lost friend. I didn't have time to react before she latched herself around my leg. I looked up at Jimmy with an ear to ear smile.

"Yeah, she's not shy," he laughed. "And she's been saying your name since I told her you were coming."

"Aw!" My kid-loving side was coming out and I looked down at the top of Ava's curly blonde head. "Hi, Ava!"

She lifted her head and smiled up at me, her arms still wrapped around my legs. "Lainey!"

I reached down and gently cupped her cheeks as Jimmy leaned over to whisper something. "Don't mention that your name is also Adelaine - she'll just get confused."

I nodded, still smiling at Ava. "How are you, Sweetie?"

"I'm happy because Lainey's here," she said as she reached her arms up toward me.

I happily picked her up and rested her against my hip. "I'm happy to be here because I get to hang out with my new best friend."

"Hey Ava, why don't you show Lainey your room?" Jimmy asked. "You can show her where your patterns are."

"Room's pink!" Ava squealed.

I looked up and took in her bright pink walls, white dresser, polkadot bed and everything else you'd usually find in a young girl's room. "Pink is my favourite colour."

Ava gasped. "Ava too! Pink's favourite."

"Show me your patterns, Honey," I placed her down gently. She walked over to a white chest at the foot of her bed and I followed closely behind to make sure she didn't fall.

I helped her open the chest and then she pulled out dozens of sheets of fabric of all different colours and patterns.

"Wow," I smiled. "These are very pretty, Ava."

"When I'm scared like this," she widened her eyes and flapped her hands by her sides.

"You play with them when you're scared?" I reiterated.

She nodded and flapped her hands again. "Like this."

"Well you're not scared now, are you?" I raised my eyebrows.

"No!" She squealed, jumping forward and wrapping her arms around my neck. "Lainey's here!"

"Jimmy! We're leaving!"

"Mama!" Ava started running toward her bedroom door before Jimmy jumped in front of her and scooped her up into his arms.

"Let's go say goodbye," he kissed her cheek as we all left her room and went downstairs.

Mr. and Mrs. Kaiser were standing at the front door, their faces lit up when they saw Jimmy carrying Ava.

"Down please," Ava said politely.

Jimmy set her down and she quickly walked to her parents to hug, kiss and say goodbye.

"You be good for Lainey, okay Sweetheart?" Mrs. Kaiser kissed her nose.

"Okay."

"And Jimmy, don't be home too late," Mr. Kaiser pointed to his son.

"Daddy, Jimmy's soup man," Ava reached for her father and he chuckled.

"Superman, Sweetie," he corrected.

"No, soup man!"

"Lainey, you're welcome to stay the night, but yes, Jimmy don't be rude and stay out till morning please," Mrs. Kaiser said.

"I know, I know, I won't," Jimmy held his hands up.

"Okay, Honey, Mommy and Daddy have to go," Mrs. Kaiser said to Ava as she rested in her father's arms. "We'll be home soon."

"We love you, Aves," Mr. Kaiser squeezed her close and I inhaled deeply. Painfully.

As I stared at them hugging and kissing, Jimmy slipped his hand into mine and squeezed. I looked over at him and he smiled sadly.

"You okay?" He whispered.

I nodded. "Yeah."

"I'm sorry, I didn't realize they'd-"

"No, no it's fine, don't worry about it."

"Goodbye, okay!" Ava squealed while her parents attacked her with kisses. "Goodbye, okay! Mama, Daddy, Ava wants Lainey now."

"Okay go, you little rascal," Mr. Kaiser set her down and looked up at me. "Nice meeting you, Lainey."

"You, too," I picked Ava up after she stopped at my feet and reached up. "Have a safe trip."

"Thank you, Honey," Mrs. Kaiser slung her purse over her shoulder. "Have a good night."

"Bye, guys," Jimmy waved them off and then they were out the door.

"Can we play Barbie?" Ava asked.

I twirled one of her curls around my index finger. "Sure we can. Are they in your room?"

She nodded. "But they like the TV," she pointed behind me. I turned and saw a large screen hanging on one of the walls. Surrounding it was couches, book shelves, a fire place, a coffee table and a few other luxurious accessories.

"But do you remember when Ava and Barbies go to sleep?" Jimmy asked.

"Ten," Ava bit her lip to stop from laughing. I was confused.

"You're a little troublemaker, you know that?" He poked at her tummy and she wrapped herself tighter around me.

"But Mama and Daddy are gone," she giggled.

Jimmy sighed dramatically. "Okay, fine, ten o'clock. As long as Lainey's alright with it."

Ava grabbed my cheeks. "Lainey, ten?"

I nodded. "Ten."

"Yay! Jimmy go now," she pointed at the door and I smiled.

He faked offense.

"How are you getting there?" I asked.

"Andy's brother's driving me. He should be-" there was a honk. "And there he is. Here."

As if from nowhere, he pulled out a few bills and held them out to me.

"No, no, no, no," I adjusted Ava on my hip. "Don't, it's fine."

"Lainey, come on."

"No, go away," I pointed at the door like Ava had and she laughed.

He sighed. "We'll talk when I get back. Be good, Ava," he kissed her cheek and then turned to me. "The food in the fridge isn't just for her. Remember that."

I rolled my eyes. "Go to your party."

He huffed and started walking to the door. "I'll see you guys when I get back. I'll say hi to you know who. Have fun!"

He was gone and my heart was racing. Harry.

I shook my head and turned to face Ava just as she put her finger on my nose. "Ready to play Barbies?"


	22. Adelaine

"No thank you, Sweetie. That makes me sad," I explained

Ava stopped smashing the Barbie she was holding against the one I had and looked at me with a pout. "Lainey's sad?"

I nodded. "Yeah, I'm sad when you hit my Barbie, know why?"

"Because it's not nice?" She asked.

"That's right. Should they hug instead?"

She smiled. "I like hugs."

We pressed our Barbies together and I smiled as she adjusted their arms to hold each other.

"Are you hungry?" I'd already asked a few times before.

She shook her head and grabbed a few articles of Barbie clothing that were laying on the floor.

"Are you sure?"

"Not hungry, Lainey!" She whined loudly.

I frowned. "That wasn't very nice."

"But I'm not hungry," she was getting a little sassy.

"I think you can say it a little nicer, though. Don't you think?"

She scowled.

"Ava don't be mean please; you're hurting my feelings."

She huffed and climbed into my lap. We were sitting on the floor in front of the TV where Barney was playing. I was excited when I saw it; I watched it as a kid. Actually going through the process of turning the thing on and finding something to play was quite the task, though. Ava pretty much had to do it for me.

"Sorry," she whispered.

I exhaled, squeezed her tightly and kissed the top of her head. She yawned and I eyed the black grandfather clock in the corner of the room. It was quarter to ten. She was excited to stay up late, but she was getting sleepy. Maybe if I told her it was time for bed without mentioning what time it actually was, she'd go to sleep.

"Hey Honey, I think it's time to-"

I was cut off by a loud knock on the front door. I was confused as to who it could've been. The party definitely wasn't over so early.

I decided to see who it was when they knocked again. I gently placed a drowsy Ava on the couch as I stood up, then I made my way to the door. I was nervous to answer it, but I realized they probably could have already seen me approach the door through the fogged window. Still, I hesitated.

I heard a chuckle. "It's me, Addie."

My eyed widened and I swung open the door before I could think. I'd forced myself not to think about him since he'd dropped me off at my real house. I convinced myself that he was done with me - that I needed to forget about him. But there he was, standing in his 1950s greaser costume, wearing a smug grin and holding a box of KD in his hands.

My hands reached up to cover my growing smile while he let me see his.

"I told you I wasn't going anywhere."

And then I leaped forward and wrapped my arms tightly around his neck. He chuckled into my ear and picked me up off the ground slightly before setting me back down.

"Are you staying?" I asked as I pulled back.

"Of course I am," he kissed my cheek. "I wouldn't pass up the opportunity to spend time with two of my favourite girls."

I smiled like an idiot and pulled him inside. As he took off his shoes, I heard soft footsteps from around the corner.

"Lainey?" Ava asked quietly. As she came into sight, I noticed that her hands were slightly shaking. I felt guilty for having scared her until I saw her smile excitedly at Harry.

"My Harry!" She squealed, running and reaching for him.

Harry ran to her and picked her up before she had the chance to possibly stumble and fall. "Hello, Angel. Shouldn't you be asleep?"

She shook her head. "Sleep at ten, Jimmy said so."

"Oh Jimmy said so?" He bounced her around in his arms. "Jimmy said so? Is Jimmy king of the world?"

"No, he's soup man."

Harry laughed and turned to me. "Right now he's drunk man," he said discreetly making me laugh quietly.

Ava squirmed in his arms. "Lainey now."

I smiled and grabbed her. "Guess what, Sweetie. Harry brought mac and cheese."

She gasped and turned to him.

"But I think him and I are gonna eat it all because somebody said they weren't hungry."

"I'm hungry now, Lainey," she turned to me, almost panicked.

"Are you sure?" I asked.

"Yes!"

"Are you really, really sure?"

"Yes! Mac and cheese now! My Harry make mac and cheese please!"

Harry laughed. "What Ava wants, Ava gets."

"Honey, why don't you finished watching Barney and me and Harry will make it," I said.

She nodded. "But don't eat all of it."

"We won't, I promise."

We brought her back to where her and I were playing before and I set her down gently on the floor. When she was settled, Harry grabbed my hand and quickly pulled me to the kitchen. Once we were there and Ava couldn't see us from over the couch, Harry grabbed my face in his hands and kissed me.

"Harry," I laughed, stepping away from him. "There's a four-year-old in the next room that I'm supposed to be taking care of."

"You are taking care of her. We are taking care of her. We're in the kitchen making her food," he leaned in but I pushed him away, raising an eyebrow.

"We're in the kitchen kissing."

"Yeah, momentarily, before we start making food."

Before I could protest, his arms were wrapped around my waist and his lips were on mine. I'd always overheard the saying 'weak in the knees' but thought it was unrealistic. I didn't think that you could be affected so much by someone. But kissing Harry made me realize how wrong I was, because my shaking knees forced me to tightly wrap my arms around his neck so I wouldn't fall. I was weak in the knees.

"I hear kissing noises!"

I laughed into Harry's mouth before he encouraged me to rest my head on his shoulder.

"No," he said loud enough for Ava to hear. "That's just want it sounds like when you make mac and cheese."

"No lying to Ava please!"

"Why would I ever lie to you?" I liked feeling his chest vibrate against mine as he spoke. I wanted to hug him and pull him closer.

"Because you're a fluffy chicken head!" Ava giggled, and I did too. "No more kissing!"

"Fine," he acted exasperated, then he turned to me quietly giggling. "You think that's funny?"

I stood up straight. "Fluffy chicken head."

He gently poked my chest with his finger. "You're a fluffy chicken head."

I swatted his hand away. "Just for that, I'm gonna go play with Ava and you can stay here by yourself."

I dodged his attempts to grab me as I hurried out of the kitchen. Before I completely left, though, I turned and gave him a grateful smile, which he returned with a wink.

Harry wasn't going anywhere.

~ ~ ~ ~

I sniffled and wiped under my eyes as I put Harry and Ava's dishes in the sink. I purposely left my dinner unfinished so I could savour it longer. When I took my first bite in front of Harry and Ava, the nostalgia brought me to tears. Ava was worried so Harry and I had to convince her that I was fine.

I grabbed the kitchen counter and tried not to cry again. I tried focusing on the giggles I could hear from upstairs as Harry assisted Ava with her bedtime routine. I needed to go up eventually to give her a kiss, but I couldn't stop crying.

It took me a good five minutes to collect myself before I made my way upstairs. I took a deep breaths and wiped under my eyes as I made my way to her room, but when I heard their voices, I paused outside her door and nosily eavesdropped.

"Is Lainey okay?" Ava asked quietly.

Harry chuckled. "She's perfectly fine."

"Why was she crying?"

"Well, sometimes when someone is very, very, very happy they start to cry. Remember on your very first day of school when Mama and Jimmy cried?"

"Uh huh."

"That's because they were really, really happy."

"So why was Lainey happy?"

"She really loves mac and cheese, and she hasn't had it in a really long time."

Ava yawned quietly, and very cutely. "Harry?"

"Yep?"

"Do you love my Lainey?"

I pressed my back against the wall beside her door and waited for Harry to answer.

He sighed. "Lainey is... my favourite person in the whole world."

Ava gasped. "In the whole wide world?"

"In the whole wide world."

And I had just stopped crying a couple minutes earlier.

"What's your favourite thing about my Lainey?"

He laughed. "Ava, you need to go to sleep. If I start talking about Lainey then we'll be up all night."

"But Harry!" Ava whined.

"Nope. Lie down, Angel."

"No!" She cried.

"Ava," Harry urged. "You need to go to sleep. It's past ten and Lainey's gonna be here soon."

"No. No sleep."

"Excuse me, you're being very mean to me and it's hurting my feelings."

Ava huffed and I decided to help Harry out. I pushed the door open and saw Ava sitting up on her bed, arms crossed and scowling at Harry standing next to her bed. She looked at me but didn't drop the expression.

"What's going on?" I asked, grabbing Harry's attention.

He sighed and looked at me with his head thrown back slightly. "Someone's a little fussy."

I nodded and approached Ava's bed, sitting on the edge next to her legs. "It's past ten, Sweetie."

"No sleep yet," she pouted.

"But Ava, Harry and I are tired; we have to go to sleep, too."

"You do?" Her pout softened.

I nodded. "And I came up to get my goodnight kiss. I can't fall asleep without one."

She uncrossed her arms. "You can't?"

I shook my head. "And Mama told me you can't either."

She slowly reached out for me and puckered her lips. I happily responded by leaning forward and letting her kiss my cheek before I did the same.

"Harry!" She called, and he happily made his way over. She didn't get the chance to kiss his cheek before he attacked her with kisses all over her face, blowing a raspberry a fe times as well. "N- Ahhh!" She giggled, trying to push him off.

He deeply chuckled and pulled away. "Night Angel. I love you."

"I love you, too," Ava yawned. Harry helped her lie down and get comfortable as I watched with a racing heart. I had stood up when Harry gave her kisses to let them have their moment.

By the time Harry had finished tucking her in, her eyes were closed and her breathing was slow. We made sure one last time that she was comfortable before he led me to the door and turned off the light.

"Lainey?" I looked back in the dark room just as I had stepped out. I could slightly see Ava sitting up a bit, looking at us in her doorway.

"What's wrong, Honey?" I was ready to read her a story, summon Jimmy, lie with her all night, sing to her until she fell asleep, chase the monsters out from under her bed. Anything she needed.

"I love you."

She lay back down right after she said it, but I remained frozen in the doorway. She loved me. I couldn't remember the last time I heard that word.

I felt Harry gently place his hand on my waist and squeeze. "You okay?" He whispered.

I nodded, eyes still on Ava, and then I slowly walked back to her bed. I knelt down and reached out to gently stroke her cheek. "I love you, too."

In the darkness, I could see her raise her hand and summon me closer with her index finger. I leaned in and she cupped her hands around my ear.

"Harry says you're his favourite person in the whole wide world."

I pulled back and giggled with her. "Get some sleep, Sweetheart. I had fun with you today."

"Me, too," she yawned. "Goodnight, Lainey."

I leaned forward and kissed her forehead. "Night."

She was out in seconds, so I quietly stood and tiptoed to the door where Harry was. He let me walk outside before gently closing the door behind us. He turned to me and pulled me closer to him by my waist.

"Hi," he whispered.

"Hi," I smiled. He leaned in to kiss me but I pushed him back and grabbed his hand. "Not here."

We quickly ran down the hallway and the stairs and stopped in the foyer where he pulled me in and kissed me. I wrapped my arms around his neck and his tightened around me. We kept pulling each other closer and closer until it was impossible for us to keep kissing. We ended up laughing at ourselves and hugging while he swung us side to side.

"Thank you for not running," I said into his shoulder.

He moved away so I could see his face. "I told you. Do you trust me now?"

I sighed. "I always trusted you. I did. I just wasn't ready."

He reached up and moved a strand of my hair out of my face. "Well everything's fine now, right?"

I nodded with a tightlipped smile. It would be fine as long as he never found out about John. "Everything's fine."

He kissed my forehead and then leaned down slightly to kiss my cheek. "What did Ava say to you before we left?"

I shook my head. "Girl code; I can't tell you."

He smiled. "Alright fine. Let's go finish the food."

I giddily nodded. "Okay. Oh and Harry?"

He raised his eyebrows and waited.

"You're my favourite person in the whole wide world, too."

~ ~ ~ ~

"This woman is a monster," I sat, appalled by what I was watching, beside Harry on the couch.

"I'm sure most of it's an act," Harry laughed, adjusted the arm he had slung around my shoulders.

"Well I hope so, that's no way to treat children."

We were watching a show called Dance Moms and I couldn't believe what I was seeing. I'd definitely had my fair share of strict dance teachers, but never nearly as strict as this Abby Lee.

"Calm down, Addie. I'm sure she's a nice person in real life," he chuckled.

I sighed and crossed my arms, watching angrily as Abby put one of the girls down even though she came in first place. I was planning on finishing the episode, but Harry started pressing kisses to my hair above my ear, my cheek, my temple.

"You're not watching the show," I giggled quietly.

"I don't wanna watch the show."

I turned to him. "Well what do you wanna do?"

He smirked. "I was thinking about kissing you for a bit, but I actually have something I wanna tell you."

I raised my eyebrows curiously as he grabbed the remote and turned down the volume on the TV. He was nervous - I could tell. And that worried me a bit.

"What's wrong?" I asked.

He let out a breath. "I know that me finding out about you was hard, but I admire how honest you've been with me. So I want to be honest with you."

I frowned. "Okay..."

"I don't want you to be scared of me. I'm a different person now and I'm not gonna go back to who I was."

I was the nervous one then. "Now you're scaring me."

He shook his head and grabbed my hand. "Don't be scared. Just let me explain before you jump to conclusions."

I nodded.

"When I was sixteen, I went to a party and a couple guys on the soccer team brought me into this room. There were only a few people there and they were all huddled around a table doing cocaine."

I widened my eyes and felt the need to back away. He gently grabbed my hands, though, and wouldn't let me.

"It's okay, just listen."

I took a deep breath and nodded, waiting for him to continue.

"I tried it because these guys were older and I had just gotten a spot on the team. I wanted to fit in and I wanted them to like me so I did it."

"Did you get addicted?" I swallowed hard.

He nodded cautiously. Slowly. Never taking his eyes off me. "I met Cassandra through it, and we started dating. After just over a year of using, I was with her and I overdosed. She called the ambulance and I went to rehab."

"Wait," I had been doing the math in my head. "This is... this is recent. W-When were you in rehab?"

He sighed. "This past summer."

My eyes widened. "That's, like... that was just two months ago."

"I know but-"

"Are you okay?" I grabbed his face.

"I'm fine, Baby," he laughed.

All of it scared me because it reminded me of John. I knew what cocaine could do to a person and I didn't want to believe Harry could be like my uncle. "Are you... using again?"

"No, no, no, no," he shook his head quickly. "Not since June, and I haven't even been near it."

I breathed out, relieved. "Is it hard?"

"Sometimes," he flicked a piece of hair off my shoulder. "There are times when I can't stop thinking about it. But I never let myself get too far."

"How do you distract yourself?"

He blushed a deep red and looked away, making me blush for causing that effect. "I uh," he laughed and scratched behind his ear. "It's kinda cliché."

I furrowed my eyebrows. "Why?"

He sighed, fixated his gaze on me and lightly poked the tip of my nose. "I think of you."

I sat up a little straighter, surprised and touched. "What?"

He smiled. "You're my favourite person in the world."

I reacted by jumping forward and pressing my lips to his. He laughed against me while holding me close as we continued to kiss. I felt as urge. An urge to do something else; something more than what we were doing. I loved kissing him, I did. But he was going slow, drowning out each kiss. I wanted to go faster.

"Addie," he mumbled on my lips. "Addie, wait." He tried to stop my attempts to climb onto his lap.

"Kiss me," I begged, overcome with an emotion and affection. His words got to me. "Kiss me for real."

"What?" He gently pushed me back another time after I tried to get on top of him again.

"Harry, c'mon," I begged. "I just want you to really kiss me."

He raised his eyebrows. "Really kiss you?"

I nodded, fingers quivering in anticipation.

"You want that?"

I nodded again.

He stared at me for a while, like he was deep in thought. He reached forward and gathered all my hair to rest it over my right shoulder. He kept one hand in my brown locks and his other went to my hip. He leaned forward and kissed me as he shifted onto his knees facing me. His right hand on my hip pulled me toward him until my knees were planted on the couch on either side of his legs.

My breathing started to pick up as his lips did. Every once in a while he'd suck on my bottom lip and my hands would tighten their grip on his white t-shirt by his waist. I felt a certain sensation, unfamiliar to me, that had me desperate for a relief.

Harry wrapped his arms around me and pressed the palms of his hands on my shoulder blades. He started leaning over, holding me up until my back hit the couch and I was laying underneath him.

My fingers were shaking. I didn't want him to feel that but I also didn't know what was most appropriate to hold onto in that situation. So I let them tremble against his sides as he lay on top of me between my legs.

The sounds of our lips disconnecting and coming together again and again ignited a very, very enjoyable feeling in the pit of my stomach. Then his tongue took over my senses and I inhaled deeply and tried to move even closer to him.

He only kissed me like that once before he kissed my chin, along my jaw and to my neck. My eyes opened for a moment before they rolled into the back of my head, a result of feeling Harry's hot tongue press flat against my skin.

It was when he pressed just a simple kiss to the back of my jaw - where it met my neck below my ear - that my mouth fell open wide. I lifted my upper body and pressed my hands down on his shoulders to keep him where he was.

He continued to kiss me there as I writhed under him. My body became hotter than it already was when he grabbed my sides just under my breasts and let some of his weight fall onto me.

He hummed against my neck. "I feel like I'm gonna break you."

The vibration from his voice against my neck sent tingles all over my body. "Why?"

He chuckled and pushed himself up onto his elbows. "You're so tiny."

I rolled my eyes. "You won't break me."

"You think you're tough?" He raised his eyebrows.

"I'm very tough."

"Oh yeah?" He stayed on his elbows but brought his chest down to mine.

"Oh yeah. I'm a dancer."

"Okay, Twinkle Toes. Show me how tough you are and get me off of you."

I smiled for a split second before shoving at his chest. He wouldn't budge at first, but then I poked his armpit and he lost all his strength.

"Hey!" He cupped his armpit like I did major damage. "That's cheating."

I laughed. "Sorry, what was that? I couldn't hear you over my well achieved success."

He scowled and pushed me back down on the couch, that time to tickle me until I had tears in my eyes.


End file.
